


The Razor's Edge

by lechaton17



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Cancer, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Feels, Hurt/Comfort, I am no medical expert, Illnesses, M/M, Medical, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Secrets, Sick Character, Sickfic, Yuri and Yuuri friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-05
Updated: 2017-03-15
Packaged: 2018-09-22 06:03:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,466
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9587030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lechaton17/pseuds/lechaton17
Summary: Yuuri was used to a hard life. But this was a whole new level.Yuri's life is going well. He as at the peak of his career, and has started his life in Russia with the man he loved, Victor Nikiforov. However, things take an unexpected turn when he finds out he has cancer. How will he tell Victor? What will these mean for his career?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! I've been playing around with this idea for a while and thought I would give it a shot. I love me some hurt/comfort Victuuri fics haha. This first chapter will jump around a bit, but I don't plan on the other chapters being this way. I haven't decided who all will be amazing appearances as far as characters go, so more character tags will be added later. 
> 
> Hope you enjoy! Sorry if I missed an errors. I reread things but I always miss simple mistakes T.T

Yuuri Katsuki’s life had never been easy.

 

It hadn’t exactly been hard, either. After all, he had a loving family growing up. He had friends that he cared about. He had a passion that he lived for. And, he had a talent for it, as well. That was more than a lot of people could ever hope for, and Yuuri knew that he was lucky, at least in some sense of the word.

 

But he had also faced many battles, thanks to living with anxiety and depression. At times they would take away those good things in his life. It would strain his relationships with his friends and family. It would make him second guess every decision he made. It effected his skating, the one thing that he was really passionate about. It had almost _ruined_ skating for him.

 

Yuuri Katsuki had been used to a hard life. But then, he met Victor Nikiforov.

 

When Victor showed up in Hasetsu to become Yuuri’s coach, his life changed. In the best way he could have ever imagined. His life suddenly gained purpose, and passion. It didn’t take him long to fall in love with Victor Nikiforov. He didn’t even know it was love at first. All he knew was that he wanted to always have Victor by his side. Not just as a coach.

 

Somehow, magically, Victor loved him too. He loved Yuuri enough to ask him to move all the way to St. Petersburg with him. Yuuri didn’t hesitate. He packed up his life in Japan, said goodbye to his friends and family, and started a new life in Russia, together with Victor.

 

Everything was perfect.

 

That wasn’t to say that Yuuri’s demons disappeared. They never did, not even as happy as he was with Victor. But it became a little easier to deal with them. Sometimes, it caused trouble for his relationship. Victor would get angry when Yuuri would shut him out. But Yuuri was learning, and he was getting better at opening up.

 

Life wasn’t perfect, but it was good.

 

Yuuri Katsuki was used to dealing with hardship. But he wasn’t prepared for his next battle.

 

* * *

 

“Yuuri?” Victor’s voice was calling him softly through the locked bathroom door. Yuuri was hunched over the toilet, fighting back the bile in his throat. He had woken up in the middle of the night, nauseous, and locked himself in the bathroom as he lost the contents of his dinner. He hadn’t even eaten that much. His head pounded, and he was exhausted.

 

“Are you okay?” Victor was worried. Yuuri could hear it in his voice. He hated worrying Victor. He had been worrying him a lot, lately. This wasn’t the first time he’d gotten sick. It had been happening on and off for a while now, and recently had been getting more frequent. Nausea. Headaches. Tiredness. Pain. For some reason it just wouldn’t stop. Yuuri kept waiting for it to pass, the way illnesses usually do, but it hadn’t.

 

“I’m okay,” he croaked, though this voice was probably not very assuring for Victor. “Just go back to bed.”

 

The doorknob rattled. “Why did you lock it?” He heard Victor sigh. “Please don’t lock me out. I’m worried about you.”

 

That was the problem. He didn’t want Victor to worry. “I’m fine!” he called out, cut off as he retched again.

 

“No, you’re not.” Victor’s voice was stern. Yuuri was too exhausted to argue with him. He took a few shaky breaths, and reached for the door handle. Lucky the bathroom was small and he didn’t have to stand up, because he wasn’t sure his legs would allow him.  He unlocked the door, and Victor had it open in a second. For a moment he just looked at Yuuri, who had turned back to the toilet. Yuuri heard him sigh, followed by Victor’s hand rubbing his back.

 

“I think it’s passing now,” Yuuri told him. It wasn’t a lie. But Victor continued to rub his back.

 

“I think you should make an appointment with the doctor,” Victor told him. Yuuri closed his eyes. The last thing he wanted was to go to the doctor’s. It wasn’t that big of a deal.

 

“I’m sure it’s nothing,” Yuuri protested.

 

“Yuuri, this has happened more than once. You’ve been off for weeks. You’ve barely been able to land jumps in practice. I’m really worried. At least you could humor me and go see a doctor. There’s no harm in it.”

 

It was true. And after all, he was fine. If going to a doctor would make Victor feel better, then perhaps that what he should do.

 

“Okay, fine,” Yuuri sighed in defeat. “I’ll make an appointment.”

 

* * *

 

Yuuri sat in the doctor’s office, squirming uncomfortably. He had come alone, despite Victor’s protests. He had told Victor that he was fine on his own and that Victor shouldn’t have to miss his practice. But Yuuri hated doctors, and now he wished that Victor was there with him. Luckily he didn’t have to wait long. A nurse brought him back to an exam room. After more than enough questions and a physical exam, the doctor decided that Yuuri needed labwork. So after spending more than enough time in the doctor’s office, Yuuri then had to go to another office, an outpatient clinic for tests. He was getting really nervous at this point. He really wanted to call Victor, so he wasn’t alone. But he didn’t. He didn’t want to worry Victor unless he had to.

 

They took a blood sample, and then they also stuck a needle in his back to get some kind of spinal fluid sample. It was terrifying for Yuuri, as he closed his eyes tight and willed for the day to just be over. Victor had already texted him asking what was taking so long. He just replied that the doctors were doing tests and it was taking forever.

 

He didn’t tell Victor that he was scared. He told Victor he was fine and he needn’t worry.

 

* * *

 

“Yuuri!” Victor exclaimed happily when he returned home from practice. Yuuri was laying on the couch, watching TV. His back was sore and frankly he was exhausted from the day, so he had gone straight home after his appointment rather than going to the rink. “How are you, love? What did the doctor say?”

 

“Not much,” Yuuri shrugged as Victor bent over to kiss him. “Just waiting for the test results. Doctor said I might be anemic, so that’s probably all it is.”

 

“Well I’m happy you went,” Victor said, squeezing onto the couch with him. Yuuri scooted a bit so Victor could fit. “Hopefully they can figure it out and get you feeling better in no time.”

 

Yuuri smiled, though on the inside, he was panicked. The doctors had been worried, Yuuri could tell. And now he was really beginning to worry. At least the results shouldn’t take too long, so he would have an answer one way or another.

 

* * *

 

 

The doctor called him back two days later, while he was at practice. He had missed the call and didn’t receive the message until after practice was over. He listened to the message, clutching his phone tightly as he heard the words ‘abnormalities’ and ‘need to come in to talk further.’ Shit. Making sure Victor wasn’t around, he called the office back. They set him up for an appointment the next day.

 

* * *

 

 

“I’ll see you later, sleepyhead,” Victor murmured to him, kissing his forehead as he left for practice. Thankfully, Victor practiced in the morning and Yuuri in the afternoon. This meant that Yuuri could sneak away to the doctor’s office without Victor even knowing. As soon as Victor was out the door, Yuuri jumped out of bed and hurriedly got ready, rushing to make sure he wasn’t late.

 

He knew something was off when he sat down with the doctor. The doctor had his serious face on. It didn’t take many words out of the doctor’s mouth for him to understand what was happening. He heard the word that blocked everything else out.

 

Leukemia.

 

He had cancer.

 

Yuuri was used to a hard life. But this was a whole new level.

 

He barely heard the words the doctor told him. Oncologist, treatment, plan. None of it meant anything to him. All he knew is that he had cancer.

 

How was he supposed to tell Victor?

 

He wouldn’t. He couldn’t. Victor didn’t need to put up with that. Cancer was…cancer. Cancer was bad. Cancer killed people.

 

“I know this is a lot to take in,” the doctor was saying. “I know it’s scary. But you’re young, and otherwise healthy. You have a good chance of beating this.”

 

Yuuri just nodded. The doctor set him up with a specialist who would decide what treatment plan was best and go from there. Yuuri felt numb, like he was sleepwalking and nothing was real. Leukemia. What would this mean? What would happen to him? What was he supposed to do? He was in a haze of unanswered questions. He went back home and grabbed his duffle bag, ready to go to the rink. Like normal. He had to act normal. Maybe he could pretend this had never happened.

 

“Yuuri, you’re here early!” Victor waved to him as Yuuri got onto the ice. At least he felt a little more grounded on the ice. The ice was his home. But Victor. One look at Victor’s happy face killed him. He almost broke right then and there, but somehow he kept it together.

 

“What’s wrong?” Victor’s smile was gone. He could tell Yuuri was upset. Yuuri forced a smile on his face, willing himself to push forward. It would be okay. He would figure this out.

 

“Nothing’s wrong,” he told Victor.

 

Victor couldn’t know.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! Sorry for the long wait for chapter two!! I've been quite busy lately, so chapters may only come out a couple times a week. Plus I have to do a lot of research so that takes a lot of my time too haha XD I hope you enjoy the next chapter! Please leave me feedback if you would like to! ^_^

Victor watched Yuuri skate, a small frown on his face. Yuuri’s skating had been off today, and had been for a while. He had noticed a small change a couple weeks ago, but the past few days had been the worst. Yuuri couldn’t land even simple jumps that he normally had no issue with. He would get right back up, but rather than looking determined like he normally would, he just seemed angry. Victor just watched, trying to understand. It was obvious that there was something bothering Yuuri. But he hadn’t said a word to Victor about anything. He had barely said a word at all. The past few days Yuuri had been shut off, a smile plastered on his face when he noticed Victor looking at him, but the smile was never genuine. Yuuri was not good at hiding his emotions.

 

At the same time, Yuuri was not good at sharing with Victor when he was feeling troubled. Victor felt a little hurt, though, because Yuuri had been seemed to have been getting much better at it. When Yuuri first moved to St. Petersburg, he and Victor had talked about a lot of things, especially things that they both needed from each other. The one thing Victor had wanted from Yuuri was for him to try and open up more when he was in trouble. Though it had been a struggle, and arguments had happened, it had been getting a lot better. Yuuri was trusting him more and feeling more comfortable letting his guard down, and in return, Victor did the same. It had felt like they were really growing.

 

But this was as if Yuuri had done a complete 180 and they were right back to where they started. Victor was hurt, worried, and confused. Nothing had really changed, after all. Had he said something that upset him? Was he perhaps homesick? Yuuri’s health had also been poor lately. Yuuri claimed the doctor had said he was fine. But whatever Yuuri was dealing with was affecting him, both physically and emotionally. And it was affecting Victor, too. He wanted to say something, to find out what was wrong, but he knew from experience that Yuuri would push him away if he asked him about it, especially if he was persistent. But he couldn’t just ignore it, either. He wasn’t sure what to do.

 

“Yuuri, that’s enough,” Victor said firmly after Yuuri fumbled his jump again. “Let’s wrap it up for today.”

 

“I can do it!” Yuuri yelled back angrily. Victor was surprised by the outburst. It seemed Yuuri was, as well. “I’m sorry,” he replied almost immediately. “I…I know I can do it. I’m trying.”

 

“I know you can do it, as well,” Victor said. “But it’s not happening today. Let’s go. No arguing!” he added as Yuuri opened his mouth to protest.

 

Yuuri sighed and skated away without another word. Victor followed him. They were silent as they changed in the locker room and packed away their things. Yuuri was avoiding even looking at Victor. Victor wasn’t sure what he felt more; worried for Yuuri, or hurt that Yuuri wouldn’t even look at him.

 

“Yuuri,” Victor started, but Yuuri held up his hand, silencing him.

 

“Please don’t,” Yuuri said, still not looking at him. “I know I messed up and I know that I suck right now. But I’m trying, and no, I don’t want to talk about it.”

 

Victor didn’t say anything. He couldn’t say anything. He couldn’t deny the hurt he felt in his chest, though he did his best to make sure it stayed off his face. He slammed his locker shut and left, without waiting to see if Yuuri was behind him or not. It’s not like Yuuri wanted to talk to him, after all.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri sighed, closing his locker. Great, now he had made Victor angry on top of everything else. Wasn’t that just fantastic. Feeling defeated, he sat down on the bench behind him. He was overwhelmed and had no one to talk to. He had met with his new doctor this morning, the oncologist who would be overlooking his treatment. It had been a couple days since he had found out that he had cancer, and he was finally starting to accept it. But it was still a lot to take in. Meeting with the oncologist that morning had made it all the more real for him, and he had realized that there was no going back. There was no hiding. This was it. It was real. She had gone over his cancer with him, explaining exactly what kind of cancer he had, something called adult acute myeloid leukemia, and what it meant. Apparently the disease had been progressing and they had found it in his brain, which is why he had been getting headaches and nausea.  The doctor explained what she believed would be the best course of treatment for him, and wanted to start it in the coming week. She had explained that it was important that besides taking care of himself, that he have a support system, and someone to take him to appointments and watch after him after treatments. He had lied and said his fiancé would be there.

 

But he hadn’t even told his fiancé he was sick.

 

A part of Yuuri wanted to tell Victor. He wanted Victor to hold him and tell him that everything would be okay. He wanted someone to tell him that he was going to make it through this, and that he was going to be alive to see another summer, another Christmas, and to be able to stand up at his wedding and marry the man that he loved.

 

But he also didn’t want to tell Victor. He didn’t want to see the look of worry and fear in Victor’s eyes. He didn’t want Victor to have to be constantly caring for him. They were athletes, and Victor was approaching his final season of skating. He had shared that with Yuuri just weeks ago. It was supposed to be the season to remember. Not the season that Yuuri got sick. Yuuri knew that his illness would not just affect him. It would affect Victor, it would affect his family, and his friends as well.

 

He hadn’t told anyone, not even his parents.

 

He wasn’t even sure what was the best thing to do. Perhaps he should move back home. But the thought of leaving Victor was painful, even more painful than the thought of the disease running through his blood. Plus, he didn’t want to burden his family, either.

 

Could he really do this alone?

 

Could he really hide this from Victor?

 

Although it seemed the easiest option, he also knew it was unlikely. Nor did Victor deserve that. Victor deserved to know the truth. He deserved the right to back out now before things got too bad. Would Victor want to leave him? Yuuri doubted it. He knew Victor better than that. Victor would probably bend over backwards and do everything he could for Yuuri.

 

Yuuri sighed and buried his face in his hands. He was exhausted. He just need more time to figure everything out. Unfortunately, he really didn’t have much time.

 

His heart skipped a beat. He hadn’t really thought much of what his disease had meant. Mostly he had been agonizing over how he would tell everyone he was sick.

 

But what if…what if he was dying?

 

He hadn’t really thought about that, yet.

 

He had thought about death before. But he had never really been faced with it, aside from when Vicchan died. He had never really considered what his own death would be, though. Even in his darkest moments, he hadn’t really thought about dying. He was too much of a coward for that.

 

He stood up. No, he couldn’t think about death. Not yet. He had too much to figure out first.

 

Like how he was going to tell his family and friends that he was sick.

 

How he was going to tell Victor.

 

If he could even tell him.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor and Yuuri spent the weekend in an uncomfortable silence, only making pointless small talk with one another. Yuuri’s skating continued to suffer, and Victor was still silent. Yuuri still hadn’t gathered the courage to tell Victor what was going on, and every day he was finding it harder and harder to even think about doing.

 

Monday came around, and as soon as Victor left the apartment, Yuuri went to the hospital for the start of his treatment. He met with the oncologist, Dr. Lebedev, who seemed disappointed that Yuuri came alone.

 

“I know you must be frightened,” she told him. “It’s important while undergoing treatment to have a support system with you. And you are not supposed to drive yourself home after treatment. The first 24 hours are also important, you must-“

 

“I know, I know, my fiancé is just- in a very important meeting. I told him not to miss it,” Yuuri lied. “He’s meeting me here after.”

 

Dr. Lebedev raised her eyebrows but didn’t say anything. “Alright, then. We should get started.”

 

Yuuri lay on his side, clutching the blanket on the bed as they inserted a needle into his spine. He closed his eyes tightly, realizing how afraid he actually was. This was really happening. And he wanted Victor there with him.

 

He had to bite his lip to stop the tears from spilling. He had to lay there for what felt like hours, and although the doctors and nurses were very friendly, he had never felt more alone in his life. Dr. Lebedev explain to him the possible side effects and what to expect. After an endless amount of time lying there in the bed, they told him he was allowed to get up and go. He swore that he was okay and that his fiancé was waiting for him outside, but he could tell the doctor didn’t believe him. His back was sore and he was exhausted. When he stepped out of the hospital, and realized with a sinking heart that Victor was definitely not out there waiting. No one was there.

 

He called a cab to take him back home.

 

When he was finally alone in the apartment with only Makkachin there to greet him, he let the tears come.


	3. Chapter 3

Yuuri didn’t show up for practice.

 

Victor texted him several times. No response. He tried calling, but no answer. Yuuri ignoring him was one thing, but he never ignored practice, even when he was struggling. The ice had always been the place he felt at peace, after all. It gave Victor an uneasy feeling at the pit of his stomach.

 

“Where the hell is he?” Yurio crossed his arms over his chest, a scowl on his face. “First he starts screwing up in practice and now he just doesn’t come at all?”

 

“I’m going to go home and check on him,” Victor told him, trying to not sound too worried.

 

“Tell him he better get his ass in this rink!” Yurio yelled after him as Victor left, waving to show he understood.

 

When Victor arrived back at the apartment, he was first met by Makkachin, who jumped excitedly, happy to see Victor home early. Yuuri was asleep on the couch. He must be sick. He looked pale and his hair was a mess. Victor walked up and softly placed his hand on Yuuri’s forehead. He didn’t feel a fever, though his skin did feel clammy. Yuuri groaned and opened his eyes. He started when he saw Victor standing over him.

 

“Vi-Victor!” he said, sitting up. “What time is it?”

 

“Just after one,” Victor replied. “You didn’t show up for practice, so I was worried. Are you not feeling well?”

 

“Oh, I-yeah, I guess,” Yuuri stammered, putting his face in his hands. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep, I’m sorry. I was meaning to get ready for practice, and…” He sighed. “I can get ready, now.” He stood up, a little unsteady on his feet. Victor reached out and grabbed his shoulder.

 

“Maybe you should just take the day off,” he said. “You really don’t look well.”

 

“I’m fine,” Yuuri said, though he looked far from it. “Just let me wash up a bit.”

 

“Yuuri I’m worried about you,” Victor said, making Yuuri pause on his way out of the room. “You’ve been messing up in practice, you haven’t been eating much, and you barely will talk to me or even look at me. I just want to understand what’s going on. Did I do something? Did I say something?”

 

“What? No!” Yuuri turned around to face him. “It’s…it’s not like that.”

 

“Then what’s it like?” Victor asked, walking up until they were centimeters apart. “What’s going on? I want to help you, Yuuri, and I can’t. I can’t help you if you don’t let me in. And I can’t stand seeing you this way.”

 

“It’s…it’s not something you can help me with,” Yuuri said, looking away. “It’s nothing, Victor.”

 

“It’s not nothing!” Victor said angrily, feeling the tears form in his eyes. “If it’s bad enough to make you lose it in practice and make you this way then it’s not nothing! I just want to understand, Yuuri. We’re supposed to be in this together.”

 

“Well then maybe we shouldn’t be!” Yuuri retaliated. Victor stepped back at his words. Even Yuuri looked horrified at what he had said. Victor didn’t know where to go from there.

 

“Do you want to go back home? Is this what this is about?”

 

“No,” Yuuri answered, sounding defeated. “I want to be here, and I want to be with you. I just….” He paused and placed his hand over his mouth. And then he was gone, running to the bathroom. Victor could hear him throwing up, but was afraid to follow. He wasn’t sure what the hell was going on. Everything had been going so well, and suddenly everything was a complete mess.

 

“Yuuri,” he said uncertainly, hovering outside the bathroom door. Yuuri didn’t reply, though Victor could hear the awful sound of him retching again. Victor sighed and pushed his way into the bathroom. He knelt down next to Yuuri, trying to block out the sight and smell of vomit. He stayed with Yuuri until his sickness passed, rubbing his back as he had before.

 

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri croaked, and Victor was frightened to see him crying. Unsure of what else to do, he pulled Yuuri into his arms and held him. He was even more confused about how he felt and what was going on, but he knew that he didn’t want Yuuri to cry. No matter what Yuuri said or did or how angry Victor got at him, he never wanted to see Yuuri cry.

 

Not only was Yuuri crying, but he was obviously sick. Victor didn’t like it. This just wasn’t normal. He wasn’t even sure if Yuuri could stand. “Maybe I should take you to the hospital,” he said uncertainly. Yuuri shook his head immediately.

 

“I don’t need to go,” Yuuri told him, his eyes fluttering. “They told me to expect it.”

 

“What?” Victor asked, unsure of what Yuuri was talking about. But Yuuri was already asleep, his head on Victor’s chest. They had told him to expect it? Who had?

 

Yuuri wasn’t answering him, and Victor didn’t want to wake him, because it was obvious Yuuri was exhausted. So instead he pulled Yuuri into his arms and carried him to the bedroom, placing him in bed. He would let Yuuri sleep, but once he was awake, he needed some real answers.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri woke up to Victor smiling at him.

 

They were in bed. Victor had his laptop out, and judging by the window it was already night time. Victor stoked his hair softly. Yuuri closed his eyes, cherishing the touch. He didn’t deserve Victor.

 

“Are you feeling any better? You slept for quite a while,” Victor said, resting his hand on Yuuri’s face.

 

Yuuri did feel a little better. He sat up and found his glasses on the nightstand. He pushed them on and offered Victor a small smile. “I feel better, thanks. How long was I asleep? I don’t even remember falling asleep.”

 

“It’s been almost seven hours, as it’s past 8 now,” Victor said, looking at his computer. “You fell asleep in the bathroom, so I brought you to bed.”

 

Yuuri blushed. He had fallen asleep in the bathroom? And Victor carried him to bed?

 

“What…what did you mean, earlier?” Victor asked him, his voice careful. “When you said that they had told you to expect this? Who is they, and what is this?”

 

Yuuri’s heart sank. Had he really been so careless to say that in front of Victor? He didn’t even remember. He had been so exhausted earlier he barely remembered Victor being there at all.

 

“I….” Victor was looking at him with such a look of longing that Yuuri couldn’t take it. He was terrified of telling the truth. He was also terrified of losing Victor. And if he didn’t tell the truth, that was probably exactly what would happen.

 

Yuuri sighed, his heart racing. He shifted uncomfortably. “Victor, I….”

 

He struggled to find words. Victor waited patiently. “You can tell me anything, love,” he said, moving so he was sitting across from Yuuri on the bed.

 

“I know,” Yuuri whispered, fighting back the tears that were threatening him.

 

He could do this. It was Victor. If anything were true, it was that he loved Victor. And Victor needed to know the truth.

 

“I’m sick,” Yuuri blurted out.

 

“Okay,” Victor said slowly. “But I kind of already figured that out.”

 

“No, I mean….” Yuuri sighed. Why was this so hard? “I’m…I’m sick.”

 

Victor studied him, his brow furrowed. “What do you mean?”

 

Yuuri fidgeted with the blanket. “Remember when you told me to go to the doctor’s? And they ran tests on me?”

 

“Yes,” Victor said slowly.

 

“Well….” Yuuri bit his lip. Victor was tense, as if he was holding his breath. Yuuri pushed himself to continue. “The test results came back, and…I have leukemia.”

 

Victor stared at him. “Leukemia? That’s…cancer?”

 

“Yes,” Yuuri said, and suddenly he felt a little calmer. “It’s a blood cancer.”

 

“And you’re…sure?” God, Victor’s voice broke Yuuri’s heart.

 

“Yes,” Yuuri replied. “I had my first treatment this morning.” He turned around and showed Victor the bandage on his back. “That’s why I missed practice. I was trying to make it home in time to get ready and go, but I was tired, and….”

 

Victor put his hand over his mouth. “How long have you known?”

 

“Only a few days,” Yuuri said, turning back to him. “I wanted to tell you, but…I couldn’t.”

 

Victor’s eyes filled with tears. “But I was so mean to you.”

 

“No!” Yuuri said at once. “Don’t feel bad, please. It was my fault. I should have told you. But I didn’t. You had every right to be upset with me.”

 

Victor didn’t even try to wipe his tears. “What…what’s going to happen? Are you…are you okay? Oh god, that’s a stupid question-“

 

“It’s fine,” Yuuri said, pulling Victor into his arms. Victor squeezed him tightly. “I don’t know what’s going to happen, to be honest. They found traces of it in my brain, too, which means it’s progressed further than they would like. But they seem optimistic still that the treatment will work.”

 

“Oh Yuuri,” Victor sobbed, burying his face in Yuuri’s shoulder. Yuuri let him cry, and despite the fact that it was hard, Yuuri felt a lot better. It wasn’t his secret anymore. He wasn’t alone anymore.

 

“Thank you for telling me,” Victor said, finally pulling away. “Please, promise me you won’t hide anything else from me, especially regarding your health. Especially now. I want to be there for you. I don’t want you to ever have to go through something like this alone.”

 

“I promise,” Yuuri said, and he meant it. “You can even come with me to my next appointment, if you want. It would certainly make my doctor happy.”

 

“Of course,” Victor said, his face serious. “I want to be there. I know I’m not always the best at knowing what to do or say. But I want to be there. We’ll figure this out. I promise I won’t leave you alone.”

 

Yuuri was thankful for the words. Again, he was reminded of how much he didn’t deserve Victor. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be able to express what Victor’s love and support meant to him. But he was thankful to have it.


	4. Chapter 4

They ended up stay up late that night and talking. Victor asked Yuuri many questions and Yuuri answered them the best that he could. Yuuri was realizing how much he was still uncertain about. He had to remind himself that this was all still very new. It had felt like an endless amount of time since when he found out that he had cancer, but in reality it had only been a few days. A few very very long days, but a few days nonetheless.

 

Victor came along with Yuuri to his next appointment. Yakov had not been pleased that Victor would be missing his morning practice, but Victor didn’t seem to care. They met with Dr. Lebedev, who was pleased that Yuuri hadn’t come alone. Victor asked her a lot of questions, and she was very patient and answered them the best she could.

 

“What about Yuuri’s skating?” Victor finally asked her. “Will he still be able to compete this year?”

 

“Well, that I can’t tell you,” Dr. Lebedev replied. “Honestly, it just depends how treatment goes, how Yuuri’s body handles the treatment, and how the disease reacts. It’s good to still be active while undergoing treatment. However, you don’t want to push yourself too hard, either.” She was looking at Yuuri now. “You have to listen to your body. I know skating is important to you, but so is your health.”

 

“So basically, if he isn’t feeling well don’t let him skate?” Victor asked.

 

“I think that’s the easiest way to look at it, yes,” the doctor replied. “However, Yuuri’s upcoming treatment will mean that he will need to stay here in the hospital. Depending on how treatment goes, he will be here for a minimum for 3 to 4 weeks. After that, a second around of treatment will be given in the following months. He won’t need to be hospitalized that entire time, however.”

 

Victor looked frightened. Yuuri just nodded silently. He had already heard this. Victor grabbed his hand and squeezed it. Yuuri offered him a small smile. But on the inside, he felt lost. He didn’t want to give up skating. Skating was all that he had, the only thing that gave him a release from the stress of life. He was sure he would be able to handle it. He wasn’t going to miss this last season with Victor. He didn’t care if he would have to make up for missed time while he was in the hospital. He could make it work.

 

“So what were you going to tell me when you disappeared for a month?” Victor asked him later as they were leaving the hospital. “If you hadn’t told me you were sick?”

 

Yuuri just shrugged. “Who knows. I doubt I would have been able to keep it from you, though. I wouldn’t have been able to spend all that time alone.”

 

Victor stopped him. “Are you scared?”

 

Yuuri turned around. “Yeah, I am. But I’m trying not to be.”

 

Victor pulled Yuuri into his arms. “You’re going to have to tell everyone else, Yuuri. At least your family and friends. This is dangerous, Yuuri. They need to know.”

 

Yuuri sighed. He knew Victor was right. He just hated the thought of worrying the people he loved. He didn’t want this to be a big fuss. He just wanted to do the treatment and put it past him and hopefully never have to look back.

 

* * *

 

 

After they arrived home, Yuuri called his parents. Victor gave him his privacy, knowing it was a difficult conversation to have. He waited in the kitchen, throwing them together simple salads for lunch. His mind was spinning. He still hadn’t full grasped what was happening, and now he was faced with Yuuri being gone for weeks. He didn’t want Yuuri to go. He didn’t want to be alone in his apartment anymore. He had been alone for so long, and he was really getting used to having Yuuri around. More than that, he enjoyed Yuuri being there with him. It felt more like home than it ever had before.

 

But he wanted Yuuri to get better. Going to the hospital today and talking with the doctor opened Victor’s eyes as to how serious this was. This was going to be their life for months. Maybe longer. Yuuri might never get better. The doctor had told him that Yuuri’s illness was advanced and that the treatment would be hard. It might not even work.

 

He didn’t want to think about the possibility of Yuuri dying. They were too young. They still had too much to do. They had barely begun their life together.

 

His phone buzzed. Yakov, texting him, asking him if he was ever going to show up at the rink today. Victor sighed. They would need to tell their rink mates what was going on, as well. Yuuri was due to start his treatment in the couple days. They would be wondering where he was and what was going on. Victor wasn’t even sure what this would means for Yuuri’s career, or his own. He had planned on this being his last season. It was going to be his big finale. But that didn’t matter to him nearly as much as Yuuri did.

 

Yuuri came into the kitchen, looking tired. “Well, they know,” he sighed, slumping down into a chair at the table.

 

“How’d they take it?” Victor asked, bringing Yuuri his salad.

 

“Well, okay, I guess,” Yuuri said, playing with his food. “They were upset, of course. And worried. But I told them it would be okay. I told them they needn’t fly out here, especially with as long as I’ll be in the hospital. I promised them I’d keep them up to date on everything, and that you would as well if I couldn’t.”

 

Victor nodded, feeling uncomfortable. He hoped he wouldn’t have to call Yuuri’s family to tell them something had happened. “Yakov’s been texting me asking when we’re going to show up.”

 

“Oh, god,” Yuuri groaned, putting his face in his hands. “I have to tell them, too. Yuri is going to be pissed that I won’t be there practicing with him.”

 

“That’s true,” Victor said with a small smile. “But he won’t be pissed at you. You know that kid loves you.”

 

Yuuri chuckled. “I do, even though he has an odd way of showing it.” His smile faded. “Can we go tell them, later?”

 

“Of course,” Victor said, reaching out to take Yuuri’s hand in his.

 

 

After they ate their lunch, Victor messaged Yakov back and let him know that they would be on their way, and that they would need to talk about something when they got there. Yakov replied with _oh great._ Victor didn’t reply. He could tell that Yuuri was nervous. He wouldn’t stop fidgeting, running his fingers through his hair or wiping his glasses.

 

“It’s okay, Yuuri,” Victor told him as they got ready to leave. “You were able to tell me, and your family. If you can tell us, you can tell them.”

 

Yuuri just nodded. They were mostly silent as they travelled to the rink. Victor tried making small talk, but Yuuri didn’t want to talk. By the time they reached the rink, Yakov, Yuri, Mila and Georgi were all already there and in full swing of practice.

 

“Maybe we should come later, when everyone is done,” Yuuri said, watching his rink mates on the ice.

 

“We can, if you want,” Victor replied. “But I don’t think it’s that big of a deal when we tell them. It’s up to you, whenever you are ready.”

 

Yuuri sighed exasperatedly and ran his fingers through his hair again. Victor wanted to scold him for repeatedly messing up his hair but refrained. “I know, you’re right. I should just get it over with.”

 

“Yuuri,” Victor said softly, putting his finger under Yuuri’s chin, making him look Victor in the eye. “It’s going to be okay. I’m right here, and I’m not going anywhere. None of us are.”

 

Yuuri looked at him for a moment, and then smiled.

 

* * *

 

“Okay, whatever this is make it quick,” Yakov growled as everyone gathered in front of Yuuri and Victor.

 

“Victor already announced this is his last season,” Yuri said suspiciously, looking from Victor to Yuuri. “Don’t tell me it’s yours too.”

 

“Aww, you just started practicing with us, though,” Mila pouted. “It’s been so fun.”

 

“Guys, I’m not retiring, okay?” Yuuri said tiredly. At least he hoped that he wasn’t. “It’s not like that, not…really. I just….” He squirmed. This should be getting easier to do, not harder. He had told Victor and his family. Why wasn’t it getting easier to say out loud?

 

“Just spit it out, pig, we have practice to do,” Yurio barked, making Yuuri jump. Victor squeezed Yuuri’s hand.

 

“I…I’m going to be gone, for a little while,” Yuuri started.

 

“What?” Yuri interrupted.

 

“Where are you going?” Georgi asked.

 

Yuuri sighed. “I’m going to be in the hospital. I have Leukemia,” he added in a rush before they could interrupt him again. “I have to be admitted to the hospital for a few weeks while I undergo treatment.”

 

Silence. Both Georgi and Yakov looked at him blankly. Mila covered her mouth with her hand. Yuri looked like he had been slapped across the face.

 

“You’re sick?” Yuri finally asked, his voice smaller than Yuuri had ever heard it. “Are you…going to be okay?”

 

They all looked at him. Yuuri opened his mouth to say yes, but the words didn’t come. He might not be okay, after all. He might not be able to compete this season. He might not even beat the disease.

 

“Yuuri’s going to be undergoing treatment,” Victor answered for him. “His disease has advanced more than we would like. The doctor said because he is young and otherwise healthy, they are able to give him strong treatments that will make it more likely for him to be able to beat it. And I believe that he will.”

 

Yuuri looked at the floor. It had been a long, hard day already, and he wasn’t sure he could take much more. Every person he told made his situation realer and realer, and he became more and more afraid of what was to come. He was startled when someone embraced him; it was Mila, squeezing him tightly. Georgi patted him awkwardly on the shoulder. Yakov just sighed.

 

“Oh Yuuri,” Mila said, breaking away from him. “You must be so scared.”

 

“Uh, well… I am,” he admitted, offering her a smile. She smiled back sympathetically.

 

“We’ll all be here, rooting for you!” she replied. “Whatever you need, just let us know!”

 

“Thank you,” he said sincerely. Yakov was talking to Victor in a low voice, but Yuuri couldn’t hear them. He looked for Yuri, but he was still behind them all, looking at Yuuri as if he had hurt him. When they made eye contact, the young skater turned his head and walked away. Yuuri followed him, moving around Mila and Georgi.

 

“Yuri wait,” he said, finally catching up to him in the locker room. “Please don’t walk away.”

 

“I don’t know what else you want from me,” Yuri growled, not turning to look at him.

 

“I…I’m sorry,” Yuuri said, not knowing what else to say.

 

Yuri whipped around. “What the hell are you apologizing for? Getting cancer?”

 

“I-“ Yuuri didn’t know what to say. “I don’t know. I don’t know anything anymore.”

 

Yurio just looked him, his face sad. He sighed. “I’m sorry, Katsudon. This must be really shitty for you. Are you going to be able to keep skating this season?”

 

“I don’t know,” Yuuri replied, defeated. That was pretty much is answer for everything right now.

 

“You’re going to be fine, okay!” Yuri suddenly yelled, making him jump. “Stop looking at me with that look on your face. You’re going to be okay! You have to be! We’re going to compete together! Okay!?”

 

Tears streamed down Yuri’s face. Yuuri was shocked, not expecting to actually see him cry. He wasn’t quite sure what to do, not knowing how to handle Yuri in this state.

 

“Okay,” he said, trying to smile. “I’ll do my best. It will be okay.”

 

He wasn’t sure if the words were comforting, but Yuri nodded. They stood there awkwardly for a few moments, and then Yuri flung his arms around Yuuri, almost knocking him to the ground.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day everyone! Hope you were wanting some Victuuri feels xD

Victor closed his laptop, unable to read anymore. He had known better than to go looking on the internet to learn about Yuuri’s illness, but he had done it anyway. He had too many questions and worries floating in his mind and he had just wanted some answers. Now he felt even worse than before. Yuuri’s leukemia was worse than what he had initially thought, and though he was young and healthy, his prognosis was still not very good. Victor tried to remind himself that it didn’t matter, that this was Yuuri, his Yuuri, and his Yuuri was a fighter. If anyone could beat the odds, it was him.

 

“I guess that’s all I really need,” Yuuri sighed, coming into the room and sitting down his packed bag. “I mean if I think of anything else, you can just grab it for me anyway.” He sat down next to Victor on the couch. Victor pulled him in and held Yuuri close, kissing the top of his head.

 

“It’s going to be weird not being here for a month,” Yuuri whispered. “I’m going to miss you.”

 

“I’ll be there every day,” Victor promised.

 

“Yeah, but not like this,” Yuuri said, looking at him. “We won’t get to do anything fun. Plus I might not be fun to be around.”

 

“You’re always fun to be around,” Victor told him. “I know it will be hard, but I promise that we’ll make it as good as we can, okay?”

 

Yuuri smiled. “I somehow believe you.”

 

Victor chuckled. “Well, since it’s your last night of freedom, what do you want to do? Anything special?”

 

Yuuri was silent for a moment as he thought about it. “I want to go skate with you.”

 

Victor smiled. He had expected as much.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri felt free as he glided across the ice. Today, he felt good. Today he felt alive. Being out there on the ice made it feel as if his life was normal again. He was just Yuuri, working towards winning a gold medal and marrying the love of his life. He wasn’t sick. He wasn’t scared. He was just Yuuri, and it was just him and the ice under his feet. He pushed his body, enjoying the feel of being able to move and jump. He got lost in the movements, the world around him disappearing. This was what he needed. This was where he belonged. He owed the ice so much, after all. He had met Victor because of the ice. And Victor had saved him. Victor had brought him back when he had felt like he was drowning. Victor had showed him that life was beautiful.

 

But was it? As soon as things actually started working out for him, disease took over his body. He had been doing so well with his skating, and he had made so many friends. He had moved to a new country and taken the step of moving in with Victor. Everything had been coming together. And now he was sick. He was really sick. There was a higher possibility of him dying than living at this point. It didn’t matter how positive the doctors tried to sound, they knew it was true. Yuuri knew it was true.

 

 _Stop thinking_ , he told himself stubbornly. This was supposed to be his last night of freedom. He was supposed to be enjoying himself. He’d have a month to lie there and think in the hospital. He shouldn’t ruin tonight.

 

But he was so goddamn scared. What if this was his last time on the ice? What if this was the last time he was able to go out with Victor? What if he never saw his rink mates again? His family? Minako, Yuuko, Chris, Phichit- all the people he loved and cared about. He couldn’t bear the thought of never seeing them again.

 

He tried to do a triple flip and failed miserably, crashing down on the ice. Victor was there within seconds, looking frantic. Yuuri hadn’t realized he was crying, but the tears were there, streaming, and he couldn’t stop them.

 

“Yuuri,” Victor said, pulling him into his arms. “It’s okay, I’m here.”

 

“I don’t want to die,” he told Victor, his voice barely a whisper. “I just want to stay here with you.”

 

“Yuuri,” Victor replied, his voice breaking, holding him tighter. “You’re going to be okay. I know you’re scared, and so am I. But you have to believe that you’re going to be okay.”

 

Yuuri didn’t reply, and instead just let Victor hold him. They stayed there for a moment, until another frantic voice interrupted them.

 

“Yuuri! What happened?” Yurio was there, looking worried. Yuuri and Victor both looked at him, Yuuri trying to wipe his tears away.

 

“Nothing, I’m fine, I just fell,” Yuuri said, allowing Victor to help him up. “I was just a little distracted.”

 

Yuri looked between him and Victor. “What are you doing here anyway? Don’t you have to leave early tomorrow?”

 

“Yuuri wanted to skate, so we came to skate,” Victor shrugged. He turned to Yuuri. “Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want to go back home?”

 

Yuuri shook his head. His tears had finally stopped and he felt a little calmer. Perhaps he had just needed to release some of his pent- up feelings. “I’m okay. I want to stay. Plus, Yuri’s here now. Perhaps we can have another skate off, like we did back in Hasetsu.”

 

Yuri’s face brightened. “I’m all for it. Don’t think I’m going to go easy on you though.”

 

Yuuri grinned. “I wouldn’t want you too.”

 

* * *

 

 

It was late when they finally left the rink, all three of them exhausted but happy. Yuri’s competitive attitude had been a good distraction for Yuuri, and he had fun trying to out skate the younger skater (and it was quite difficult to do.) He didn’t want tomorrow to come so soon. He just wanted to live in the moment, with Yuri’s attitude and Victor’s laughter.

 

“Thank you, Yuri,” Yuuri said as they went to part ways outside of the rink. “I had a lot of fun.”

 

Yuri crossed his arms. “I’m always ready to beat you whenever you need it, Katsudon.” But he smiled. “Is it…okay if I come to visit you, while you’re in the hospital?”

 

“What? Of course!” Yuuri said with a laugh. “I would really like that. I’m probably going to be bored out of my mind if no one comes to see me.”

 

“Hey, I’ll be there!” Victor said, mocking offence, but smiling. They said goodbye to Yuri, waving as they went their separate ways. Yuuri couldn’t help but to feel a little sad, as if it were more than just a normal goodbye.

 

“Hey.” Victor’s voice was soft as he put his arm around Yuuri’s shoulders. “What are you thinking about?”

 

“Nothing, and everything,” Yuuri replied. He stopped, looking up at the sky, which was unusually clear tonight. Victor stopped as well, following Yuuri’s gaze.

 

“The stars are beautiful tonight,” Victor observed.

 

“They are,” Yuuri agreed. “I’m glad. I miss the stars sometimes.” He looked back at Victor. “I’m sorry for earlier. I know that I need to try and be positive. And I’m trying. It’s just hard sometimes.”

 

“I know,” Victor said, his finger softly tracing Yuuri’s cheek. “It’s honestly a bit selfish of me, but I want you to say that you’re going to be okay for my sake as well as your own. I’m scared, too. I love you so much, Yuuri.”

 

For some reason Yuuri felt comfort in knowing that Victor needed reassuring as much as he did. “Can you promise me something?” he asked.

 

“Anything,” Victor whispered.

 

“I want you to keep skating, and finish the season,” Yuuri told him. “I know this being your last season meant a lot to you, and everyone’s been so excited. I don’t want you to stop because of me.”

 

Victor looked at him for a few moments. “You know nothing is more important to me than you, Yuuri. I will do as you say and keep skating as planned. But if something happens and you need me, I won’t think twice about missing a practice or competition.”

 

Yuuri opened his mouth or argue, but knew it was no good. “I suppose that’s fair. I just don’t want your life to stop because of me.”

 

Victor chuckled and pulled Yuuri close. “That statement could not be further from the truth, Yuuri.  You are what made my life colorful again. But don’t worry. I won’t just sit and mope, if that is what you are worrying about.”

 

“Okay, good,” Yuuri said, his cheeks flushed from being so close to Victor. “And I want to try to keep skating this season, too, if I can. I want to be there with you.”

 

“I want that too, my love,” Victor said, though his voice sounded unsure. “But the most important thing is that you are well. We will take things one step at a time, okay?”

 

Yuuri sighed. “Okay.” Victor kissed him, right there in the middle of the dark street, the stars shining above them. Yuuri kissed him back, treasuring every second, remembering every detail.

 

* * *

 

 

Neither of them slept well that night. Victor couldn’t help but think that this was the last time that they would be able to sleep together in their bed for at least a month. Maybe longer. He wanted to lay there with Yuuri in his arms for as long as possible. Victor felt that if he let Yuuri go we would never be able to hold him again. So he lay awake most of the night, listening to Yuuri’s steady breaths, enjoying the warmth of Yuuri’s body next to his.

 

The next morning they were up early, before the sun rose. Yuuri gave Makkachin a lot of attention, petting her and giving her hugs.

 

“It’s so weird that I won’t be home for a while,” Yuuri stated as he rubbed Makkachin’s belly. “I’m going to miss being here.”

 

“We’re going to miss you too,” Victor said, kneeling down next to him and patting Makkachin’s head. “It’ll be quiet here. But I’m sure you’ll be home before you know it.”

 

“I hope.” Yuuri stood up, looking around the apartment. “I guess we should go. Get this over with.”

 

“Okay,” Victor said, standing as well. He helped Yuuri with the things he had packed and said goodbye to Makkachin. Yuuri looked around the apartment one last time before they left, as if trying to remember it.

 

When they got to the hospital, the first thing they had to do was fill out paperwork. Afterwards, Dr. Lebedev came to see them and went over some quick information with them as to what they would be expecting. Finally, they were taken into the room that would be Yuuri’s home for the next few weeks. The room at least had a nice view of the city. Victor set up some of Yuuri’s things for him, hoping to at least make it feel a little more homey. He brought pictures of them together, of Makkachin, of Yuuri’s friends and family, hoping it would make him feel less lonely.

 

“Thank you,” Yuuri said, smiling at the pictures. “You didn’t have to do all of that.”

 

“I was happy to,” Victor replied, putting his arms around Yuuri’s neck. “I know that a lot is happening really quickly, but I want you to know that I’m here. We’re all here for you.”

 

Yuuri nodded and put his head of Victor’s shoulder. “I don’t know what I did to deserve you.”

 

Victor wondered the same thing all the time.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter skips a bit of time and is mostly filler. I didn't want to dwell on the medical side too much, mostly because despite the hours of research I have put into this story, I still feel like I have no idea what I'm talking about xD I have no medical knowledge, and even if I try to read things it still doesn't make a lot of sense to me. But I also try to be believable as possible, haha. 
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the chapter. Thank you to everyone for your nice comments and feedback, it really means a lot to me.

Those 4 weeks that Yuuri spent in the hospital were the longest weeks of his life.

 

He had known going into it that it would be a long, hard process, but it was even more so than he had imagined. The first couple days had been mostly testing, followed by seven days of chemotherapy. The doctors had explained that the goal was to kill all the cancer cells in his body, which left him weak and susceptible to infections. This is why he was stuck in the hospital for such a long time. It all made sense and he understood why it was necessary, but it didn’t make the experience any easier.

 

Victor was there every day, no matter what. He kept to his promise and continued to stick to his training schedule with Yakov. If he wasn’t training, or at home getting food or sleep, he was there with Yuuri. Some nights, when Yuuri was feeling down or unwell, Victor would even stay overnight with him, though the nurses seemed to frown upon it. But Yuuri was grateful. He wasn’t sure that he would have been able to handle all that time in the hospital if Victor hadn’t been there with him.

 

Yuri came quite often too, sometimes bringing Yuuri food that he had made or bought from local shops. Yuuri could tell that the young skater wasn’t exactly comfortable being in the hospital, for he always seemed tense and uneasy. But he still came anyway, and he did his best to act completely normal. Yuuri was thankful for it. A lot of his friends had been acting so careful whenever they talked to him, but Yuri wasn’t like that. It was nice to have a little bit of normalcy when everything was crazy.

 

When he felt well enough, Yuuri tried his best to be up and moving as much as possible. He was still determined to be able to compete this season, and he wanted to keep up as much strength as he could. But it wasn’t as easy as he had hoped. Even walking down the halls of the hospital required a lot of effort, and it left Yuuri frustrated.

 

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” Victor had told him one evening as Yuuri got back into bed, exhausted even though he had barely done much walking. “You are sick. No one expects you to be running marathons right now.”

 

“I know that,” Yuuri said, sighing in frustration. “I just...I just want to be able to skate.”

 

“I know you do, love,” Victor told him, sitting on his bed. “But you should focus on resting and getting better, not pushing yourself.”

 

“All I’ve been doing is resting, it’s not like there’s anything else to do,” Yuuri mumbled. He knew that he was being ridiculous, and Victor was just trying to help, but he didn’t care. He was tired, and scared, and angry, and was more than ready to go home and for this cancer thing to be over with.

 

“Yuuri,” Victor said, his voice stern. “The faster you are feeling better the faster you can go home. Remember what the doctors said, that pushing yourself too much can make things worse and not better.”

 

Yuuri ran his fingers through his hair. His anger suddenly disappeared when he pulled his hand back and realized he had pulled out a chunk of his hair. He stared at it, his heart beating quickly.

Victor noticed and looked at it too. Yuuri knew that this would happen sooner or later, but it was still a shock. He had never really cared too much about his hair or appearance, but there was something jolting about it.

 

“Yuuri,” Victor said, his voice much softer. “It’s okay. It will grow back.”

 

Yuuri couldn’t stop the tears. This was just great. He couldn’t even walk down the hall without getting winded, and now his hair was falling out in clumps. He wanted nothing more than to pretend that he was fine and for his life to go back to normal. But life kept reminding him that everything was anything but normal, and that he was really sick, and that he couldn’t hide it or pretend.

 

Victor pulled him into an embrace, holding him tightly. Yuuri just let himself cry. It felt good. He hadn’t cried the whole time he had been in the hospital so far, despite being scared, despite feeling like shit and wondering if he was going to live to see another day. He had kept it together, and stayed positive, and smiled when people were around him, because that’s what they all wanted and needed. But it was exhausting. And the truth was that he was scared. The doctors had told him that his treatment was going well, and that he had been handling everything well. But he hadn’t really. He was just trying to do what was expected of him. He just wanted to go home, after all.

 

* * *

 

The month that Yuuri was in in the hospital felt like the longest month of Victor’s life.

 

He hated being at home. He would wake up early in the mornings, get ready, take Makkachin for a walk, and then drop her off with Yakov so he could go visit Yuuri. Then he would go to practice, and then usually head back to visit Yuuri again before heading back home. It made for long, exhausting days, and at the end of the day he was left with an empty bed and a heart full of worry. Though Yuuri had been doing well so far, Victor was always afraid that he would wake up in the morning to find missed calls from the hospital, afraid of what might happen. Some days he would just stay at the hospital, even though he wasn’t supposed to. Some days he just couldn’t bear to leave Yuuri there alone.

 

His skating in practice hadn’t been great, and the season was just around the corner. Victor was trying his best to skate in a way that would make Yuuri proud, but his mind was also less on skating and more on Yuuri. Yakov had barely even commented on it. Though Yakov was a strict coach, he was not unkind. He knew what was happening and why Victor was distracted, and he didn’t push Victor too much when he made simple mistakes. Yuri was less forgiving, however. He was always there to make some sort of comment, reminding Victor that this was his last season and he was throwing it down the drain. Victor was even pretty sure that Yuuri had asked the young skater to keep an eye on him and push him when he needed it. It was so important to Yuuri that they all keep moving with their lives, despite what was happening to him. But it was a lot harder than Yuuri thought it was.

 

It was hard for Victor to watch Yuuri suffer and not be able to do anything to help him. There were good days and there were bad days, and the bad days were especially hard. Sometimes Yuuri felt too sick to get out of bed. Sometimes he was just angry at the world. And sometimes he believed that he was dying, and felt the need to tell Victor things he didn’t want to hear. Victor didn’t want to hear what he should do with his life and what Yuuri would want for him. He didn’t want to have to think about a life without Yuuri in it. Sometimes, Yuuri didn’t seem to understand this.

 

Despite Yuuri’s fears, the doctors were very positive and said that the treatment was working as well as they could have hoped. Thankfully Yuuri’s treatment went well and he was able to be released from the hospital sooner rather than later. It would be short lived however; he would have to be given further treatment in another few weeks. If they were lucky, though, he wouldn’t have to be hospitalized long term again.

 

Victor decorated the apartment when they found out Yuuri was for sure coming home, and cleaned everything from top to bottom, since the doctors had said that was important. He invited their rink mates to help set up and surprise Yuuri when he came home. It may have been a little over the top, but Victor was happy. It had been a long, hard four weeks of an empty home, and he was ready to have Yuuri back.

 

“I can’t believe I’m actually leaving,” Yuuri said happily as they finished packing up his things. He was dressed in this favorite jacket, scarf and hat, his head having been shaved days ago. “It’s like I’m dreaming or something.”

 

“It’s not a dream, unless I’m dreaming too,” Victor said with a smile. He leaned in a kissed Yuuri softly on the lips, making’s Yuuri’s cheeks flush like always. But he smiled, and it made Victor love him even more. Yuuri had definitely had a difficult time during his hospital stay, but the fact that he could still smile so genuinely was beautiful to Victor.

 

“SURPRISE!” Yuuri jumped when they walked into their apartment and Yuri, Mila, and Georgi were there, balloons flying. Yuuri just stared at them for a moment before a big smile came across his face. Mila hugged him, Makkachin wagged her tail excited, and everything was perfect. Even Yuri was feeling more emotional than usual and gave Yuuri a big hug. Everyone stayed for a little while, but Victor could tell that Yuuri was tired and eventually had to shoo them away, reminding them that Yuuri was home now and that they would be able to see him whenever they wanted.

 

“I’ve missed this bed so much!” Yuuri said, stretching out on their bed with a blissful look on his face. “You have no idea how amazing this feels right now.”

 

Victor chuckled. “Is there any room for me?”

 

“Always,” Yuuri replied, and Victor climbed on the bed and snuggled into Yuuri. It felt so right, so comfortable, and he had missed it so much.

 

“You have no idea how much better this bed is with you in it,” he told Yuuri, making Yuuri blush again, and for the first time in weeks, Victor was happy. For in that moment, things were better, things were right. He never wanted Yuuri to leave his side again.


	7. Chapter 7

Yuuri woke up as Victor got out of bed. The room was still dark, meaning it was still pretty early. Victor was getting up to get ready for practice, with the Grand Prix starting again in just a couple weeks. Yuuri had been home for a couple days now, and although he was happy to be home and out of the hospital, he was already going stir-crazy. He hadn’t been doing much of anything his entire time in the hospital, and now he was home and wasn’t doing much of anything here either. He was starting to feel the pressure of having to do something. At the rate that things were going, there was no way he was going to compete this season. He knew it was a long shot to begin with, but a part of him had still not given up hope.

 

“Victor?” he said sleepily, rubbing his eyes and reaching for his glasses.

 

“It’s still early, love,” Victor’s voice came from the dark room. “You can go back to bed.”

 

“Can I go to practice with you?” Yuuri asked, sitting up and turning the lamp on. Victor was standing at the foot of the bed, his hair a mess.

 

“I-I’m not sure if it’s a good idea, Yuuri,” Victor said uncertainly. “I think you need to work yourself back up first. And you’ve only been home a couple days-“

 

“Can I at least go with you so I don’t have to sit here all day?” Yuuri cut him off. Victor knew as well as Yuuri did that Yuuri wasn’t going to be skating like he had hoped, but Yuuri wasn’t giving in. He wasn’t ready to admit it.

 

Victor hesitated, but then gave in. “Of course you can come.”

 

They got ready in silence. Yuuri spent a few moments in the bathroom, staring at his reflection. He didn’t even recognize himself anymore. He looked much older than he had before, his skin pale, his lips chapped, his mess of black hair gone. He shoved a hat on his head, and it made him feel a little better. He could only imagine what it would be like if he showed up to a competition looking like this. He hadn’t even publically announced that he was sick, yet. He had been hoping he wouldn’t have to, but it was starting to look inevitable.

 

Only Yakov was there when they arrived at the rink. Yuuri waved to him as he took a seat in the stands, and Yakov nodded in acknowledgement. Soon after Victor got out on the ice, Georgi arrived, and then Mila. They seemed happy to see Yuuri there, and Yuuri did feel a bit better just being out and doing something. He soon got bored, though, and tired, after watching the others practice and not being able to join them. He was about to fall asleep when someone sat down next to him.

 

“What are you doing, Katsudon?” Yuri asked him, stifling a yawn. “Are you here to practice or just watch?”

 

“I want to practice,” Yuuri admitted. “But…it’s starting to feel like it’s just not going to happen.”

 

Yuri was quiet for a moment. “I want you out there as much as you want to be out there,” he said. “But if you can’t, then it’s understandable. After all, this isn’t your last season. You can make a comeback next year.”

 

Yuuri chuckled. “Look at you, sounding so mature. I was sure you’d be telling me to get my ass out there.”

 

“Well, I’d like to do that,” Yuri admitted with a smirk. “But I just want you to get better.”

 

Yuuri smiled but didn’t say anything. He couldn’t shake the feeling that if he didn’t compete this season, that he would never get to compete again. And he wasn’t ready for that possibility.

 

“Well I have to go,” Yuri said, standing up. “You do whatever you have to do, Katsudon, but I’m going to make sure I beat Victor’s ass this year.”

 

And with that Yuri was gone, leaving Yuuri alone with his thoughts again.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor was tired. He had been working so hard to try and give the best performance he could for the upcoming competition, Skate America. Even now that Yuuri was home, Victor was always so worried. He was doing the best he could to hold himself together, especially for Yuuri’s sake. But he was tired, and it was getting harder and harder to do.

 

“Are you sure you want to go through with this?” Yakov asked him. “The way you are going right now you won’t even make it to the finals.”

 

Victor sighed, but was saved having to reply by the sight of Yuuri coming onto the ice. He straightened up, thinking _not this now_ , and skated over to his fiancé.

 

“Yuuri, what are you doing?” he asked as Yuuri carefully slid onto the ice.

 

“I’m skating,” Yuuri replied stubbornly, crossing his arms.

 

“Yuuri I told you, you can’t just jump back in,” Victor said, trying to keep his voice calm. Yakov, Yuri, Mila and Georgi were all watching them, looking uneasy.

 

“But the Grand Prix starts in a couple weeks,” Yuuri said. “I have to at least try if I want to continue to skate this season.”

 

“Yuuri, you can’t!” Victor said, his frustration getting the best of him. “You’re not going to be able to skate this season.”

 

Everyone just stared at him. Yuuri’s face went from looking hurt to looking angry. “That’s for me to decide, not you.”

 

“I’m your coach, aren’t I?” Victor shot back. “Even if you weren’t sick, Yuuri, there would be no way that we’d be able to get you ready in time. I don’t know why I just didn’t say this sooner. But it’s the truth, Yuuri, and you know it.”

 

“Well maybe I should just find someone else who’s willing to coach me then,” Yuuri said defiantly.

 

“No one will coach you, Yuuri!” Victor said angrily. “Why don’t you understand? Doesn’t your health mean anything to you? Why is this so important to you?”

 

“Because this is my last chance!” Yuuri yelled back, his eyes shining with tears. “This is my last chance to skate with you! And probably with Yuri, and Phichit, and everyone else! I just wanted skate one more time!”

 

“But we’re going to skate next year, right?” Yuri interrupted, looking scared. “Right?”

 

Victor sighed. “Yuuri, we’ve talked about this. The treatment is working. And it’s going to keep working. You’re going to be able to beat this.”

 

“But you don’t know that!” Yuuri replied, his anger dissipating. “I don’t want to just sit here and wait for the inevitable, whether this kills me or even if it doesn’t. I can’t just sit here and do nothing. If I am dying, then I want to at least live out the rest of my days doing what I love with the people that I love.”

 

“Yuuri-“ Victor felt tears in his own eyes, and was pretty sure that at least Mila was crying at this point. He didn’t know what to say. “I know that the odds are against you. But the only way to even try to beat the odds is if you take care of yourself. I’ll do anything you want, Yuuri. I’d do anything for you. I know that skating this season is important, but it’s just not going to happen, love. I’m so sorry.”

 

Victor could see it in Yuuri’s eyes- defeat. Yuuri looked down at his feet, his shoulders slumped. Victor hugged him, and after a moment, Yuuri hugged him back. And then suddenly Mila was hugging them too, and Georgi, and then even Yuri was there, and awkward group hug that caused them to fall over on the ice. And then they were laughing, Yuuri the first to start, wiping his eyes.

 

* * *

 

“So you won’t be skating, then?” Phichit’s face fell on the video camera. “I was really hoping to get to see you again soon.”

 

“Yeah, me too,” Yuuri replied with a sad smile. “I think I knew from the beginning. I just didn’t want it to be true. But I guess I feel a little better now, because at least I don’t have to agonize over it anymore. I can just be the support for all of you this year.”

 

Phichit’s face brightened. “Are you going to travel along with Victor, then?”

 

Yuuri shrugged. “Maybe, if I can. As long as it doesn’t fall on a time when I have appointments or treatments planned. I’m hoping I can go to America at least, since it’s before my next treatment starts.”

 

“Well at least that’s something!” Phichit said. “You can be the best cheerleader!”

 

Yuuri laughed. “That I can do.” Victor came up behind him, wrapping his arms around his shoulders.

 

“Yuuri the cheerleader,” Victor said thoughtfully. “Now that’s something I can get behind.”

 

“Hiii Victor!” Phichit waved. “I will let you guys go, since it seems you have something important to do. But thank you for calling me Yuuri! I’m glad you’re doing well!”

 

“Thanks Phichit,” Yuuri said, waving. “Bye.” The call disconnected. Yuuri sighed. Today had been an emotional one for him, and he was exhausted.

 

“I’m sorry for the way I acted earlier,” Victor said. “I didn’t mean to yell at you like that.”

 

“No, it’s okay,” Yuuri said. “I think that’s what I needed.”

 

Victor kissed the top of his head. “Are you okay? Do you need anything?”

 

“I can go with you, right?” Yuuri asked, turning around to look at Victor. “To your competitions?”

 

Victor smiled. “Of course, as long as you feel up to it. I’d like to have to there.”

 

Yuuri smiled. If he would have to sit the season out, he was going to do everything he could to support those around him.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri looked out at the city of Chicago, the lights reflecting off the water. It was a beautiful city. He felt better than he had in weeks, and was happy to be out of the house and supporting Victor. Even though he wasn’t competing himself, the atmosphere was still exciting for him, and at least he didn’t have to deal with the stress and anxiety that usually came when he was about to compete.

 

He was nervous to see people he knew, or for the reporters to hound him. Yuuri had gone public with his illness right after he had come to the realization that he wouldn’t be skating for a while. He had posted on his Instagram explaining what was wrong with him and why he would not be competing as he had planned. He had gotten so much support from his fellow skaters and fans, that it made Yuuri warm inside. Everyone had sent their well wishes, or even went on and shared their own stories of illness, and it made Yuuri feel a little less alone.

 

But he hadn’t seen anyone in person, are he was afraid of how awkward that might end up being. But he tried to shove those feelings aside, because he was here for Victor. Victor’s skating hadn’t been as good as it had been in the past, and Yuuri knew that it was his fault. Victor had spent so much of his time and energy taking care of Yuuri, and worrying over him constantly. Perhaps Yuuri shouldn’t have asked him to keep skating this season. Perhaps it was too much pressure for Victor. But Victor had been so excited before Yuuri had gotten sick, and Yuuri didn’t want him to lose his last season.

 

“Yuuri!” Victor sang excitedly, coming back into the hotel room. “I brought dinner!!”

 

Yuuri turned and smiled. Victor sat takeout bags down on the table. His smile faltered a bit. “Are you okay?”

 

“Yeah, I’m fine,” Yuuri said quickly. “Let’s eat.”

 

Yuuri was quiet as he ate his dinner. Mostly he picked at the food, still not having very much of an appetite. Victor watched him closely, but waited until he had finished his own food to say something.

 

“Okay Yuuri, what’s wrong?” Victor asked, sitting his empty container down. “You’re killing me with that look on your face.”

 

“Are you okay? Yuuri asked him, which seemed to surprised Victor.

 

“Me?” Victor asked.

 

“Yes, you,” Yuuri replied, rolling his eyes. “I know that this whole thing has been hard on you. The competition is tomorrow, and I don’t want you to be distracted. I just want to help if I can.”

 

Victor blinked, and then his face softened. He sighed. “Yes, it has been hard,” he admitted. “Though it’s probably my own fault, for worrying way more than I need to. But I’m okay. I’m just happy being here with you.”

 

Yuuri smiled. “I want to help you just as you want to help me, Victor. And this is your last season, and I know how important it is to you. So whatever you need, just let me know.”

 

“I’d be happier if you ate a little more,” Victor said, and Yuuri laughed, shoving a mouthful of rice into his mouth. “That’s more like it!” Victor chuckled.

 

Yuuri felt a little bit better about Victor. He could see a bit of that spark back in Victor’s eyes that had been missing for so long.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably post the next few chapters quite quickly! I kind of hit one of those streaks where I just don't want to stop writing xD

Cheers erupted around Victor as he came to a stop, his chest heaving. He had done it. And he had done well, he already knew. Lights flashed around him, but he was only looking for one person. Yuuri. He was there, standing next to Yakov, waiting for him. His face was bright, and Victor was hit yet again with how much he loved Yuuri. Smiling widely, he skated over to them, Yuuri waiting with open arms. His eyes were sparkling as Victor embraced him, spinning him in a circle.

 

“That was amazing!” Yuuri told him excitedly, and his kissed Victor, right in front of the whole world. Victor was surprised but pleased, and kissed him back as people cheered around them.

 

“Alright you two, you need to go get your score!” Yakov barked, and they broke apart. Victor smiled at his coach, and Yakov returned it. They went to the kiss and cry to await Victor’s score. His free skate score came out to 191.14, putting him in first place for the Skate America Competition. Yakov yelled in triumph, and Victor threw his arms around Yuuri. Somehow, after everything that had happened and how poorly he had been doing in practice, he had been able to pull off his performance.

 

“How does it feel to win the gold?” Yuuri asked as they got back to their hotel room.

 

“Almost as good as this,” Victor replied, grabbing Yuuri by the waist and pulling him close. Yuuri blushed. “Thank you, Yuuri,” Victor said seriously. “You were right. I really did want this. And seeing your face afterwards was the best gift I could have asked for. Better than any medal.”

 

“Well it was an amazing performance,” Yuuri said with a smile. “I hope I can be at the next one to see it all over again.”

 

Victor smiled, though he felt a sinking sensation inside. He had been so lost in the day and the moment that he had almost forgotten that Yuuri was sick, and starting his second round of treatment soon. Yuuri may not even be able to travel with him to the next competition. The thought of leaving Yuuri behind was difficult. Victor wasn’t sure if he could have skated as well as he did today if Yuuri hadn’t been there to cheer him on.

 

“What’s wrong?” Yuuri asked, frowning. “Did I say something wrong? I’m sorry, my brain can be fuzzy sometimes.”

 

“No! No, you’re fine,” Victor said quickly. “I was just thinking, is all. I’m actually quite tired. It’s been a long day and we have to fly back home tomorrow. Do you want to call it a night?”

 

He actually wasn’t tired at all, but he could tell that Yuuri was. “Are you sure you don’t want to go to the after party with Chris and the others?” Yuuri chuckled.

 

Victor waved the thought away. “No, I’m good.”

 

“You can go, if you want,” Yuuri said, sitting down on the bed. “You should celebrate with them. I don’t mind hanging out here. I’ll probably fall asleep anyway.”

 

“I told you, I’m fine,” Victor said, throwing back the blankets. “We’ll have plenty of time to celebrate when I win at the finals.”

 

Yuuri laughed and got under the covers, Victor following suit. “Thank you,” Yuuri told him, laying his head on Victor’s chest. “It really was amazing to able to watch you today.”

 

“Thank you for being here for me,” Victor replied, kissing the top of Yuuri’s head.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor’s next competition was the Rostelecom Cup, which unfortunately fell on the same time that Yuuri had to begin his second round of treatment. Yuuri ended up having his sister, Mari come to stay with him while Victor would be away, since he wasn’t supposed to be alone and didn’t want to have to stay in the hospital again. Yuuri could tell that Victor was uncomfortable leaving Yuuri, and even seriously considered not going. But Yuuri wouldn’t let him have it.

 

“I’ll be fine, Victor!” Yuuri assured him. “Plus, it’s only for a few days, and Mari will be here with me. We can talk as much as you want, and I’ll make sure to watch the stream and be your cheerleader from home.”

 

Finally, Victor agreed. Mari came a couple days before Victor left, so she could familiarize herself with the apartment and the way to and from the hospital. Seeing Mari for the first time face to face since he had gotten sick had been difficult. When they picked her up at the airport, she had stopped and stared at Yuuri, her eyes filling with tears. His sister had never been much of a crier, and it made Yuuri uncomfortable to see her upset. She had embraced him tightly, and didn’t let go until Victor basically pulled her away.

 

However, after her initial moment of weakness, Mari swung into full sister mode, and became focused on whatever she would need to do and be prepared for. “Don’t worry, Victor,” she said, patting his shoulder as he got ready to leave. “I’ll take good care of Yuuri while you’re away.”

 

“You’ll call me if something happens?” Victor said, though he knew full well that she would.

 

“Of course,” Mari said, waving him away. “Now get moving, before you’re late.”

 

Victor turned to Yuuri, who smiled, and engulfed him in a hug. Yuuri breathed in the scent of him, which was comforting. In all honesty, he was as nervous about Victor leaving as Victor was. His treatments had already begun and he had been feeling quite poor, but for some reason Victor’s presence always made him feel better.

 

“Win the gold for me,” Yuuri told him as Victor pulled away. Victor smiled, though it looked forced.

 

“I will certainly try,” Victor replied, kissing Yuuri goodbye. Eventually they broke apart, and Victor had to leave, Yakov and Yuri waiting for him outside. Yuuri felt incredibly lonely as the door closed, and couldn’t stop the tears that leaked from his eyes.

 

“Oh, Yuuri,” Mari sighed, pulling him into a hug. “It will be okay. He’ll be back before you know it.”

 

* * *

 

 

Victor was thankful that he had friends surrounding him in Moscow, at the very least. Yuri, especially. The young skater could tell that Victor was worried and did his best to try and distract him and egg him on. Victor knew that Yuri was excited to finally be competing against him. Yuri had been wanting to actually go up against Victor as long as they had known each other. And Yuuri was expecting Victor to bring another gold medal home. Victor wanted to do everything he could for Yuuri’s sake.

 

His short program wasn’t perfect. It wasn’t terrible, of course, but he made some simple mistakes that could have given him a much higher score. He tried not to get too angry at himself, and no one even really called him out on it, not even Yakov. Yuri did, of course, but it would have been much more surprising if Yuri hadn’t. Yuri’s short program was fantastic, and his score put him ahead of Victor at the end of the day.

 

“Hi!” Yuuri waved at him from his computer screen later that night. “We watched your performance! You did really well.”

 

“I could have done a lot better,” Victor sighed. “But I will try to make up for it with my free skate.” He studied Yuuri on his screen, though the webcam didn’t give the best picture. “How are you? Is everything going okay?”

 

“M-hm, it’s been okay,” Yuuri said. “I’m pretty tired, though. They weren’t kidding when they said this stuff was strong. But Mari’s been taking good care of me.”

 

“As promised,” Mari said, sticking her head in front of the camera for a moment, before disappearing. Victor smiled, though he hated not being with Yuuri.

 

“You should rest,” he told Yuuri, wishing he could reach through the screen. “I need to get some sleep as well, so I can try to do better tomorrow. But feel free to call me, if you need to. And listen to what the doctors and Mari say, okay?”

 

“Yes, of course,” Yuuri chuckled. “Good luck tomorrow. I’ll be cheering for you. I love you, Victor.”

 

Victor felt a lump in his throat. “I love you too, Yuuri.”

 

* * *

 

 

Victor put all of his energy into his free skate, pushing his body more than he ever had before. He thought of Yuuri, and Yuuri’s smile, and the sparkle in his eye when Victor had done well at Skate America. Somehow, it was enough to pull him through, and he finished his free skate with a flawless performance. As he had last time, as soon as he had finished he immediately looked for Yuuri’s face in the crowd, but of course, he wasn’t there. It hurt his heart, but he was doing this for Yuuri. He was doing it for himself, of course, but more than anything, he wanted Yuuri to be proud of him.

 

His free skate performance made up for his small fumbles in his short program, and he finished the Rostelecom Cup with a score of 292.61, which placed him in second, right behind Yuri.

 

It was quite an experience to stand with the silver as Yuri stood above him with the gold, but Victor wasn’t upset. He was quite happy, actually. Yuri had worked so hard and was a phenomenal skater, and he deserved to win. He told Yuri as much, as for once, the young skater did not come up with a smart comeback. He smiled at Victor, and didn’t fight when Victor hugged him.

 

When Victor finally returned home to St. Petersburg, Yuuri was asleep in bed, and Victor didn’t have the heart to wake him. “He’s been pretty out of it,” Mari told him, as they hung in the doorway and watched Yuuri sleep. “But he’s done with this round of treatment for now, and he’ll be going back next month.” Next month, when the Grand Prix finals were held. “He was so excited during your performance, though. You should have seen him.”

 

“I wish I could have,” Victor said with a small smile. Mari looked at him, and smiled. “You’re a good guy, Victor. I’m glad that Yuuri has you. He loves you a lot.”

 

“I love him too,” Victor replied, looking back at Yuuri’s sleeping form. “It’s been really hard, having to watch him go through this. I wish I could do something. I feel so helpless.”

 

“You’ve done more than you give yourself credit for,” Mari chuckled, patting his shoulder affectionately. “My family couldn’t be more grateful to you. My mother wanted Yuuri to come home when he told us he was sick, but I’m glad he stayed here with you. I think it’s better for him. You make him better. You make him happy.”

 

Victor hoped her words were true. He wanted nothing more than to make Yuuri happy.


	9. Chapter 9

They had a month before the Grand Prix finals. Both Victor and Yuri were being worked endlessly by Yakov. Everyone was excited for the final showdown between the two Russians, with many speculating on who would end up winning the gold. Yuuri tried to go with Victor to practices most days, hanging out in the stands and cheering them on. But his second round of treatment had been hard on him, and some days he didn’t even have the energy to leave the house. He tried his best to keep a smile on his face though, especially for Victor’s sake. Victor was so close to winning the gold at his final Grand Prix, and Yuuri didn’t want to worry Victor or cause him any distractions.

 

His next treatment was the week before the Grand Prix Finals, which ended up being a hard week on the both of them. Mari ended up flying out again to help take care of Yuuri as Victor tried to put in his last minute practices. Yuuri was thankful for his sister’s help, especially for Victor’s sake. Yuuri could sense the unease in Victor leaving for another competition so soon when Yuuri wasn’t well, but Yuuri wanted him to go. He wanted Victor to be able to finish the Grand Prix after all the hard work had put in this season, on top of everything else that had been going on. Victor deserved to win.

 

His treatment finished right before Victor was due to leave for the final. Yuuri hadn’t felt as bad as he did that last weekend home with Victor, and he wished that it had been better. He started to feel an uneasy pressure in his chest, but he did his best to ignore it, unsure of where exactly it was coming from.

 

“Hey love,” Victor said after coming home from his final practice, finding Yuuri curled up on the couch. “How are you feeling?”

 

“I’m okay,” Yuuri said, though it was a lie. “How was practice?”

 

“It went well,” Victor said with a smile, his fingers gently caressing Yuuri’s cheek. “I think I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”

 

“And Yuri?” Yuuri asked, but to his surprise it wasn’t Victor who answered.

 

“Better than this old geezer, that’s for sure.” Yuri came into view, smirking. Yuuri smiled and tried to sit up, but thought better of it halfway through and laid back down.

 

“You don’t have to get up for me!” Yuri said quickly, kneeling down next to Victor. “I just wanted to come say goodbye before we had to leave. And to make sure that you’d be watching us.”

 

“Of course I will,” Yuuri said with a smile. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world. It’s going to be amazing, I know it already.”

 

Yuri smiled. “I’m going to beat your fiancé though, so don’t get too excited.”

 

Yuuri chuckled, though it turned into a cough. He could see the worry lines on Victor’s face, and Yuri’s as well. “I’m okay, guys,” he told them. “Don’t worry about me, this is completely normal and it will pass. Mari will be here and we’ll be watching you both, don’t forget.”

 

“Good,” Yuri said, standing up. “Well, I have to go and make sure I have everything ready. Katsudon, feel better so we can celebrate my win when I return.”

 

“Will do,” Yuuri said with a salute. Yuri said goodbye and left, leaving Yuuri and Victor alone as Mari hummed to herself in the kitchen.

 

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” Victor asked worriedly. “I hate to leave you like this.”

 

“I’m sure,” Yuuri said, grabbing Victor’s hand and kissing it. “You go win your gold medal, before Yuri gets too full of himself. When you get home, I’ll make sure to kiss your gold medal for you.”

 

Victor smiled sadly at him. “I need to get ready to go, as well. Please, Yuuri, call me if you need anything at all. I’m serious. It doesn’t matter the time.”

 

“I promise I will,” Yuuri replied, his eyes fluttering, already tired. “You’ll do great. I love you.”

 

“I love you so much,” he heard Victor say before sleep overtook him.

 

* * *

 

Victor hadn’t felt right leaving Yuuri, but he did so anyway, telling Mari several times to call him if anything happened. She told him calmly time and time again that she would. That didn’t stop Victor from messaging her almost constantly during his travels and once he arrived to his hotel. Victor couldn’t shake the feeling that he shouldn’t have left, even though Yuuri seemed to be doing okay and was just really tired.

 

Victor felt uneasy going into his short program. He was going up against Yuri, Chris, Otabek, JJ, and Phichit, and all of them had been performing extremely well. He had never felt so off before a competition before. This wasn’t any normal competition though. This was his last Grand Prix final, and the whole world was expecting him to be perfect. And he had a sick fiancé at home, and Victor wanted nothing more than to be with him. But he had promised Yuuri he would go through with this. And he was so close.

 

“Hey,” Yuri said as they waiting their turn at their short program. “Look, I know your worried about Katsudon. But he’s going to be watching you, and you’ll worry him if you mess up. He’s always worried about you, you know.”

 

“I already know that,” Victor sighed, not needing the added pressure. “I’m fine.”

 

Yuri scoffed. “You lie no better than he does, old man. Just…try to keep it together for your program, at least?”

 

“What, you don’t want an easy win?” Victor asked him.

 

“No, I don’t want a fucking easy win, you idiot,” Yuri snapped at him. “There’s no point in competing if you don’t go up against the best.”

 

Victor sighed. “I know, I’m sorry. I’ll hold it together. I’ll hold it together for Yuuri.”

 

“Good, because you’re next,” Yuri said, crossing his arms. Victor took a deep breath and nodded. He could do this.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuri watched as Victor went out on the ice. He still looked shitty, but as the music started, he seemed to hold true to his word and keep it together. Perhaps his worry even fueled him more, because his skating showed no signs of anxiety. Yuri was glad. He had waited so long to actually compete against Victor Nikiforov, and he wanted a performance that was hard to beat. It would make his victory all the more satisfying.  

 

Yuri’s phone went off, distracting him from Victor’s performance. His heart sank and he saw that it was Mari calling him. He didn’t want to answer, but he knew that he had to.

 

“Hello?” he said uneasily, knowing that Mari wouldn’t be calling him unless something bad had happened.

 

“Yurio, hey,” she said, her voice shaky. “Are you with Victor? I tried calling him but I can’t get through.”

 

“He’s performing right now,” Yuri said, watching Victor out on the ice. “What happened?”

 

“I-“ Mari sighed. “I need to talk to him.”

 

“What happened, Mari?” Yuri asked, gripping his phone tightly.

 

She hesitated before answering. “I had to take Yuuri to emergency room. He’s got a bad fever and isn’t doing very good. The doctors are trying to figure out what is exactly wrong with him. I just…I don’t know what’s going to happen.”

 

Yuri felt sick. Victor finished his short program and the audience erupted into cheers. “Goddammit,” Yuri cursed out loud, and headed towards the kiss and cry, hoping to find Victor as quickly as possible. This couldn’t really be happening. Not now. Not ever. He had told Yuuri that he was going to be okay and that he wasn’t allowed to die. They still had to compete against one another.

 

“Please Yuri, he needs to be here,” Mari said, her voice cracking. It was enough to make his own eyes water, and he broke into a run, pushing people out of the way.

 

“Victor!” he yelled, finally catching sight of his silver hair. Victor turned just before entering the kiss and cry, looking surprised. Worry flashed across his features as they made eye contact. Yuri finally caught up to him, holding out his phone and trying to catch his breath. “I-it’s Mari.”

 

Victor looked frightened as he took the phone. Yuri just watched helplessly as Victor’s face contorted with fear.

 

“Yakov I’m sorry,” Victor said to their coach, his hands shaking. “I have to go, now. It’s Yuuri.”

 

“What-?” Yakov started, but Victor was already leaving, tossing Yuri his phone as he went. “I’m sorry, Yuri!” he said in passing, and he was gone in an instant.

 

“What happened?” Yakov demanded, and Yuri turned to his coach, overwhelmed by all that had happened in such a short time.

 

“Mari called,” Yuri told him coach. “Yuuri…isn’t doing well.”

 

Yakov sighed and placed his hand against his head as if the thought gave him a headache, just as Victor’s scores were announced, the highest score so far that day.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor couldn’t sit still as he waited for the next flight back to Russia. His heart was racing and he was on the verge of tears. He knew he shouldn’t have left. He knew that Yuuri needed him. He texted Mari every few minutes, asking for an update, hoping each and every time that Yuuri was still with them. Yuuri couldn’t die. Victor couldn’t handle the idea of Yuuri dying, especially without being able to say goodbye to him. He had to be okay. He just had to be. Victor wasn’t ready to let him go so soon.

 

Victor had no choice but to wait in agony on his flight, as he couldn’t receive messages. When he finally landed in St. Petersburg, he had a message from Mari saying that Yuuri had pneumonia, and he was admitted to the hospital. He had messages from Yakov, and Yuri, and Phichit, and Chris, all asking him what was going on, but he didn’t have the time or energy to answer them. He got a cab and asked them to take him straight to the hospital.

 

Mari met him in the lobby, her hair a mess and bags under her eyes. “Hey,” she said, giving him a hug as he practically ran to her. “He’s still hanging in there. They are starting him on antibiotics, but there’s worried because he’s already weak from the chemo. All we can do now is wait and see what happens.”

 

Victor nodded, tears flooding his vision. He let Mari lead him into the ICU, where they made him put on a mask and gown for good measure. A nurse led him to Yuuri’s room, and Mari let him go alone, so he could see Yuuri in privacy.

 

Yuuri looked so small in the hospital bed, tubes and wires snaking from his body to various machines. He looked terribly ill, his face white, his body fragile. His eyes fluttered as Victor grabbed his hand and squeezed it.

 

“Hey, love,” Victor said, his voice coming out higher than normal as he tried to fight the tears back. “I’m right here, and you’re going to be okay.”

 

“Vi-Victor?” Yuuri said, his brow furrowed. “The-the finals-“

 

“Shh, love, it’s okay,” Victor said, putting his hand on Yuuri’s face. “Don’t worry, everything is okay. Just focus on getting rest and feeling better, okay? I’m going to be right here with you.”

 

“Victor,” Yuuri said, his voice barely a whisper. “I love you so much.”

 

Victor couldn’t do it. He couldn’t handle this. This was the one thing that he couldn’t just put on a brave face for. He couldn’t stop the tears from flowing and he managed to choke out, “I love you too, more than words can say.”

 

Yuuri managed a smile, before a fit of coughing took over, his face screwing up in pain. The nurses rushed in, and Victor backed out of the room. Mari was waiting outside, looking scared. “What happened?” she demanded.

 

“Please stay with him,” Victor told her. “I need-I need a minute.”

 

She nodded in understanding and disappeared into the room. Victor left the ICU, trying to remember how to get out of the damned building so he could breathe. He finally found the door and made it outside, gasping for breath. He fell to his knees and cried, the ugly kind of crying. He cried like he never had before in his life, and begged whatever higher power was up there to not let his Yuuri die.

 

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Once he had calmed down, Victor went back inside the hospital, doing his best to stay calm. He returned to Yuuri’s room. Mari was there, looking tired, but she managed a half smile when she saw Victor. Yuuri was asleep. Victor sat down on the opposite side of Yuuri’s bed and took his hand, kissing his fingers.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, to Mari and also to Yuuri, if he could hear them.

 

“Don’t be sorry,” Mari said. “It’s a lot to take in at once. It wasn’t easy for me, either. But he’s still hanging in there. The doctor said his fever even went down a little, so that’s good.”

 

“Yuuri’s a fighter,” Victor said, closing his eyes and taking a deep breath. Was it just hours ago he was skating in the Grand Prix? He hadn’t thought much of it, but he was still in the outfit he had been performing in. People must think he looked ridiculous. It didn’t matter, though. Nothing mattered except Yuuri.

 

“I shouldn’t have gone,” Victor said, though he wasn’t exactly talking to Mari. He was more talking to himself. “I had a feeling that I shouldn’t go and I ignored it.”

 

“We couldn’t have known, Victor,” Mari said. “These kinds of things are unpredictable. And Yuuri really wanted you to go. He would have been upset if you hadn’t. He’ll probably be upset that you came home,” she added with a chuckle. “He’s a stubborn kid. That’s why I feel like he’ll make it through this.”

 

Victor smiled. It was true. His phone buzzed again, and it was Yuri, for the hundredth time. Sighing, Victor decided to make a group message to let everyone know at once what was going on. He told them that Yuuri had pneumonia and that everything was still up in the air, but they were hoping for the best. Nearly everyone replied almost instantly, sending their love and well wishes, Yuri asking if he should come home too. Victor sighed.

 

“I need to make a call,” he told Mari. “I’ll be right back.”

 

She nodded. Victor made his way out into the waiting room and decided to call Yuri.

 

“Victor!” Yuri said as soon as he answered. “What’s happening? Is Yuuri going to be okay? Should I-“

 

“Slow down,” Victor told him, feeling tired. “Yuuri is in the ICU and they are monitoring him closely. They are giving him medicine to help fight the infection and we’re hoping that it works. Because Yuuri is already weak from his treatments, it’s possible that…that he won’t make it.”

 

Yuri was silent on the other end. “But we can’t give up on him,” Victor continued. “This is Yuuri we’re talking about. He’s not going to give up without a fight.”

 

“Goddammit,” Yuri cursed. “This isn’t fucking fair.”

 

“I know,” Victor replied. “Did you perform your short program?”

 

“Y-yes,” Yuri replied. “Yakov talked me into it. I got the highest score. I even beat you.”

 

Victor smiled. “Good. You have to finish, Yuri. As soon as the finals are over you can come home. But please, finish. You’re going to win, I know it. I think you would have beat me, anyway.”

 

“I would have liked to have known that for sure, though,” Yuri said, his voice small. “Can-can I talk to Yuuri?”

 

“He’s asleep,” Victor replied. “The doctor’s said he’ll be sleeping a lot. But I can give him a message for you, if you want.”

 

“Just-just tell him I plan on beating him next year!” Yuri blurted out. “I’ll stay, and I’ll win tomorrow. But then I’m coming home and I’ll tell him that again myself.”

 

Victor smiled. “Good luck, Yuri. We’re very proud of you.”

 

“W-whatever!” Yuri barked, and hung up.

 

* * *

 

Victor and Mari stayed up almost the entire night, both of them dozing but not really falling asleep. The doctors came by the next morning to tell them that Yuuri’s fever had gone down more and the medication seemed to be working. Mari and Victor hugged each other in relief. Dr. Lebedev came by a couple hours later, and Victor was happy to see a familiar face. He really liked Yuuri’s doctor, and she really seemed to care about Yuuri as well.

 

“I’m so sorry that this happened,” she told him. “Yuuri’s a good kid. But it looks like he’s improving. We will still hold him for a couple more days, to make sure. Unfortunately, this happens often with people in Yuuri’s condition, even when you take every precaution. He’s going to need a lot of rest when he gets home, and we may need to postpone his treatment just a little, if he isn’t up to it.”

 

“Is it…is it working? The treatment?” Victor asked, his heart beating quickly.

 

“Yes, and no,” the doctor replied. “It’s working, but not quite as quickly as we would like. I actually wanted to talk to you both about something. Since you are here,” she said, directing the statement to Mari, “I think it’s a good time to consider doing a stem cell transplant. I’ve talked to Yuuri about this before as a possible option, but he always seemed against it. Though, I think it is mostly because he didn’t want to give you the trouble.”

 

“Me?” Mari asked. “What would I need to do?”

 

“Since you are a sibling, you have the greatest chance of being a donor,” Dr. Lebedev explained. “We would take some of your bone marrow, and give it to Yuuri. It’s a risky procedure for Yuuri, and it would mean that he would need to spend another few weeks in the hospital. But, if it worked, it could possibly cure the disease.”

 

“Really?” Mari asked, looking hopeful. “I would do anything you need me to.”

 

“What are the risks?” Victor asked.

 

“That the transplant wouldn’t take,” Dr. Lebedev replied. “And it could be fatal. But, if we don’t do the transplant, Yuuri’s odds of survival at this time are very low. He could still survive without it, but…his best chance is with the transplant. His disease is growing faster than the treatment can kill it.”

 

Victor dug his nails into his palms, trying his hardest to keep his composure. He looked at Mari, who looked frightened.

 

“What do I need to do?” she asked.

 

“We’d run the tests and make sure you are a good match,” Dr. Lebedev. “If all is well, we would take you in for a simple procedure where we remove the marrow using a drill in your hip. I know it sounds scary, but it’s quite easy and you’d only be sore for a couple days.”

 

“That doesn’t matter,” Mati said, waving her concerns away. “I’ll do it.”

 

“We will need to talk to Yuuri, of course,” Dr. Lebedev continued. “We can start the tests now, if you’d like, but we will need to make sure that’s what he wants before we go any further. Plus, we’ll have to wait a few weeks until he has recovered from the pneumonia.”

 

“Well I’m fine with starting the tests,” Mari said, her face set. “Like I said, I would do anything to help him.”

 

Dr. Lebedev smiled. “Alright then, I will place the order and I’ll have someone come get you when they are ready. I’ll get going, unless you guys need anything else.”

 

“No, we’re fine,” Victor said tiredly. Dr. Lebedev smiled and put her hand on his shoulder.

 

“Don’t forget to take care of yourself, as well,” she said, and left.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor’s silver hair was the first thing Yuuri saw when he woke up.

 

The next thing he noticed was that Victor was dressed as if he was about to perform. Yuuri remembered Victor’s face fleetingly, in a mix of memories that all ran together. That’s right, he was in the hospital, and Victor and Mari were both there. He tried to remember anything else, but he couldn’t. His was exhausted, and his chest felt heavy.

 

“Victor,” he managed to say, his voice sounding awful. Victor, who had been sitting looking at his phone, jumped, and then smiled.

 

“Hey,” he said, leaning over and kissing Yuuri’s forehead. “You don’t know how happy I am to see you awake.”

 

Yuuri smiled. “What happened?” he asked.

 

“You caught pneumonia,” Victor told him. “You gave us quite the scare. But the doctors said you are doing better. They’re going to keep you here for a few more days.”

 

“What happened…at the finals?” Yuuri asked.

 

Victor smiled sadly. “Yuri won. I ended up leaving after my short program, because we weren’t sure….” Victor didn’t finish the sentence, but Yuuri understood. They had thought he might be dying.

 

“I’m sorry,” Yuuri said. “If only it had waited a couple days.”

 

Victor chuckled. “Oh, Yuuri. Don’t apologize. I think Yuri was going to win either way. That kid is something. Oh, he wanted me to tell you that he’s competing against you next year.”

 

Yuuri smiled. That was basically Yuri’s way of saying ‘don’t die.’

 

“Where’s Mari?” he asked, realizing she wasn’t there.

 

Victor hesitated. “Dr. Lebedev came to see us earlier. She told us that she thinks it’s a good idea to consider doing a stem cell transplant.”

 

Yuuri’s heart sank. “Oh. It’s come to that.”

 

Victor grabbed his hand. “Mari’s getting the tests done to make sure she can donate. It’s up to you, of course, what you want to do. But Dr. Lebedev said it’s our best option at this point.”

 

Yuuri had hoped that it wouldn’t come to this. He hated the idea of Mari having to get involved and undergo any discomfort. He hated the idea of being stuck in the hospital longer, and he hated thinking of all the risks involved.

 

But he may not have the choice. Dr. Lebedev had told him time and time again that it might end up being their best option, but he had hoped that the disease would go away with the chemo. “You think I should do it?”

 

Victor looked down. “I think that we should do whatever we have to do to make sure you can beat this. And from what she told us, I think it’s best.”

 

Yuuri sighed. He wanted to go back to bed and deal with this later. “It wouldn’t happen right away, but in the next few weeks,” Victor told him. “Don’t stress too much right now. Just focus on getting better and beating the infection.”

 

Yuuri nodded, closing his eyes. Life had been quite insane for him the past few months, and he was getting to the point where he just wanted a break from it all. He missed his boring, uneventful life he had once had. He missed feeling healthy and strong. He missed not having to see lines of worry in Victor’s face every day.

 

It was strange to think that he could have died. He had known ever since he was diagnosed that it was a possibility, but the fact that he had come this close was scary.

 

“Are you okay?” he heard Victor ask. Yuuri opened his eyes and looked at him. Victor held his hand in his tightly. He looked so tired.

 

“It’s scary,” Yuuri admitted.

 

“Yeah,” Victor said sadly. “But I’ll be here with you. I’m not leaving your side again, I promise.”

 

Yuuri smiled. “You look tired,” he told him.

 

“I look tired?” Victor laughed. “Don’t worry. I’ll be fine. You just have to keep getting better.”

 

“I’ll try,” Yuuri said, his eyelids heavy. He tried to keep his eyes open, but sleep overtook him again.

 

* * *

 

Yuri looked around the waiting room frantically. Then he spotted Victor. What a sight he was. Not only was he dressed ridiculously, he looked an absolute mess. But he managed to wave and smile when he saw Yuri, so at least that was something.

 

“Have you been here since yesterday?” Yuri asked, looking him up and down.

 

“Yeah,” Victor said with a yawn. “I didn’t want to leave.”

 

Yuri sighed. “He’s doing better, then?”

 

“Yes,” Victor said with a smile. “Thankfully Mari got him here when she did. He’s still pretty tired but he’s doing much better.”

 

Yuri felt relief to hear Victor say it in person. “Good. I’m glad.”

 

“You can come,” Victor said, beckoning him to follow. Yuri did as he was told. He hated being in the damn hospital. It had been hard enough to come visit Yuuri here before. But at the same time, he couldn’t not visit Yuuri. He had to see him with his own eyes to know that he was okay.

 

Yuuri looked anything but okay when they reached his room. Mari was there, looking as tired as Victor did. Katsudon looked like he was on the brink of death, which Yuuri supposed was pretty true. But it wasn’t an easy thing to see. He hated to think that Yuuri was this sick. It just wasn’t fair. Yuuri didn’t deserve it.

 

“Hey, Yurio,” Mari said to him with a smile. “Congratulations on your win.”

 

“Thanks,” Yuri said uncomfortably. Despite winning his second Grand Prix in a row, he really didn’t feel like a winner right now.

 

“Thanks for coming,” she said. “Yuuri will be happy to see you.”

 

He wished he could be happy to see Yuuri, but he wasn’t happy to see him this way. “I’m glad he’s doing better.”

 

She nodded, yawning. “Me too.”

 

Yuri sighed impatiently. “Okay, you both look like shit. Katsudon’s out of the woods for now, right? You both should go home and take a nap, or at least a shower. I can sit with him.”

 

“But-“ they both protested, but Yuri held up his hand to silence them.

 

“I’m serious, you guys. I promise I will call you if anything happens. You are going to worry Yuuri if you don’t try to take care of yourselves a little.”

 

Victor and Mari looked at each other. Finally, they gave in.

 

“I guess you’re right,” Victor sighed, bending over to kiss Yuuri’s forehead. “Thank you, Yuri.”

 

“You’re so sweet,” Mari said, hugging him.

 

“Okay, okay, enough,” Yuri said, pushing her away. “Just go before I change my mind.”

 

After making him promise again to call them if needed, they both finally left, leaving him alone with Yuuri, who was asleep. Or at least Yuri thought he was, until he saw Yuuri smile.

 

“I can’t believe they listened to you,” Yuuri said, opening his eyes to look at him.

 

“Katsudon! You’re alive,” Yuri said with a grin, sitting down next to his bed. “Good, because I would have seriously killed you if you died.”

 

Yuuri chuckled. “I heard you won the gold. I can’t wait to see your performance, though I’m sad I missed it.”

 

“Eh, I can forgive you this time,” Yuri said. “But next year, Katsudon, it’s on.”

 

Yuuri smiled. “Thank you, for getting them to leave. I mean I love them and all, but I want them to be okay, too. I don’t think they would have thought twice about leaving.”

 

Yuri shrugged. “I thought I’d offer since they looked like hell. I’m sure they’ll be back in no time.”

 

“Probably,” Yuuri chuckled, his laugh turning into a cough. He winced, and Yuri tensed up. “I’m okay,” Yuuri said quickly. “I’m just a little sore.”

 

Yuri sighed. “Do us all a favor, Katsudon, and get better. It really sucks to see you like this.”

 

“I’m doing my best,” Yuuri replied.

 

Yuri crossed his arms. “I’m glad you didn’t die.”

 

“Thanks, Yuri.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I stayed up until 2 am writing this xD Im going to be wrapping this up in the next couple chapters. Thank you again for all your kind comments and support <3

Yuuri’s condition steadily improved, and within a few days, the doctors released him to go home. Before they left, Dr. Lebedev met up with them to tell them that Mari’s tests came back and she was a suitable donor. Yuuri had been thinking about the transplant since Victor had told him it was his best chance, and he decided to go through with it. Mari, Victor and even Dr. Lebedev seemed happy with his decision, and Yuuri could only hope that it was the right one to make.

 

Mari decided to stay with them in St. Petersburg for the time being, since she would have to be coming back in a few weeks anyway. Both Yuuri and Victor were extremely grateful for everything that she had done to help them. Yuuri was grateful to everyone for all the love and support they had shown him. It never ceased to amaze him how wonderful the people in his life truly were. He received so many messages, cards, and gifts when he was in the hospital from everyone wishing him to get well.

 

“Yuuri,” Victor said as they were getting ready to leave the hospital. “It seems that word is out that you had a medical emergency. The reporters somehow caught wind that you were being released today, and they are now waiting outside.”

 

“Of course they are,” Yuuri said, rolling his eyes. Victor smiled.

 

“We’ll do our best to avoid them, but I wanted you to be prepared,” Victor continued.

 

Victor wasn’t lying. Yakov and Yuri were there waiting for them, Yuri telling every reporter in distance to fuck off and leave them alone. Yuuri was overwhelmed by the amount of people throwing questions at him. Who knew that reporters would ever care so much about what was happening with him. Victor and Mari were silent but looked angry, as they shot the reporters dirty looks, Mari pushing Yuuri along in a wheelchair.

 

“Mari, wait,” Yuuri said before they reached the car. “I want to say something.”

 

Mari raised her eyebrows. “You sure?”

 

Yuuri nodded. She shrugged and turned him to face the crowd of reporters, who looked at him eagerly. It was almost amusing, how excited they looked.

 

“Hello,” Yuuri said awkwardly, waving. “I was released from the hospital today after coming down with pneumonia. I’m doing much better now, and I plan on keeping things that way. Thank you to everyone who has sent me well wishes, it really means a lot. Don’t worry, I’m not going anywhere yet.”

 

Victor grinned and kissed the top of Yuuri’s head. “Okay, Mari,” Yuuri said, and Mari, shaking her head in amusement, turned him back towards the car.

 

* * *

 

“So what are you going to do now?” Yuuri asked as he snuggled into Victor on the couch, and Mari starting making dinner. “Now that you are retired?”

 

“Well I’m going to coach you, of course,” Victor said, pulling a blanket over him. “Yuri’s asked me to be his coach again, as well, though I haven’t answered him yet.”

 

“You should do it,” Yuuri said. “You’re a good coach.”

 

Victor smiled, browsing through articles on his phone. “People just love your interview you gave earlier. Everyone’s talking about it.”

 

“Good,” Yuuri said tiredly. “I just thought it was best to be honest. I was sure people were upset that you left halfway through the final.”

 

Some had been upset with him, but mostly people had seemed to assume he had a good reason, especially with the world aware of Yuuri’s leukemia. “I wouldn’t care even if they were upset,” Victor said. “I don’t regret leaving in the slightest.”

 

Yuuri sat up so he could look at Victor. Victor could tell how tired Yuuri was, but there was determination in his face as well. “Can I talk to you about something?”

 

“Of course,” Victor replied, putting his phone down.

 

“And don’t get mad at me,” Yuuri added.

 

Victor raised his eyebrows. “Okay.”

 

“I want to talk about what would happen if I die.”

 

Victor tensed at the words. “Yuuri-“

 

“Please, just listen to me,” Yuuri sighed. “The whole time I’ve been sick, I’ve known that it was a possibility. But…this time, everything happened so fast, and I wasn’t even prepared. I guess before I thought I would…I don’t know, have a fair warning. But I know better now. I just need to know that if something like this happens again, that you’re going to be okay.”

 

“Of course I wouldn’t be okay,” Victor said, his voice quiet. Mari had quieted in the kitchen as well, and he was pretty sure she was listening. “I’m sorry, Yuuri, but it won’t be okay if you die. Will I live on with my life? Yes. I’ll still get up and do what I need to do. But I could never be okay with you dying.”

 

Yuuri looked as sad as Victor felt. “I just want you to be happy, Victor. I want you to be as happy as you have made me. You have no idea what you’ve done for me.”

 

Victor pulled Yuuri back into his arms. “If you were to die, Yuuri, it would be hard. I’m sure that eventually I would be happy again, though a part of me would always be missing. I love you too much. I can’t imagine my life without you. And I don’t want to. That’s why I have to believe that you’re going to be okay.”

 

Yuuri sighed, his breath turning into a cough. Victor rubbed his back soothingly. “I’m sorry if that wasn’t what you wanted to hear.”

 

“It’s what I expected,” Yuuri admitted. “I suppose it’s selfish of me to ask you something like that. I know that I wouldn’t be okay if it were you. I’m just afraid. I’m so afraid and I can’t control it. I didn’t even know…I didn’t even realize…”

 

“Shhh, it’s okay,” Victor said, feeling Yuuri’s warm tears soak his shirt. “We’re all scared. And that’s okay. It’s okay to be afraid. But you’re alive, Yuuri. You’re stronger than you think you are. You’ve gone through hell these past few months and you still manage to smile. You still manage to cheer for me, and for Yuri. You’re still you. If that’s not strength, I don’t know what is.”

 

“But half the time it’s been a lie,” Yuuri mumbled. “I lie so that you won’t worry. I just want everyone to be happy.”

 

“I know,” Victor said, his throat feeling tight. “I know you, Yuuri. I know you’re trying to protect us. You always put everyone’s well-being in front of your own. You want to take care of us, but don’t want us to take care of you.”

 

“I just don’t want to be a burden,” Yuuri said, his voice small.

 

“You will never be a burden on me,” Victor told him. “It doesn’t matter what were to happen. If you couldn’t walk, I wouldn’t care. If you couldn’t see, then I would see for the both of us. I love you, Yuuri. There’s nothing that could change that.”

 

Yuuri sniffed. “I don’t know how I got so lucky to end up here with you, but I’m thankful that I did.” He looked up at Victor, his eyes still full of tears. “I love you.”

 

“I love you, too,” Victor replied, wiping his tears.

 

“I’m so tired, Victor,” Yuuri said, and Victor knew that he meant more than just in this moment.

 

His own tears were in danger of falling now. “I know, love. But the transplant will work. You just need to hang in there a little while longer.”

 

Yuuri opened his mouth to say something, but whatever it was, he changed his mind. Victor felt guilty. He knew how sick and tired Yuuri must feel. He could only imagine what it was like to live through what Yuuri was living with. But still Yuuri smiled at him, as Yuuri always did. He laid his head back down on Victor’s chest, and after a few minutes, he was fast asleep.

 

* * *

 

Yuuri’s health improved over the following weeks, though he was still weak and couldn’t do much. Their days were filled with medications, doctors, visits to the hospital, and nights at home. Victor often found himself afraid to fall asleep at night, worried that he might wake up and Yuuri would not. Sometimes he would dream about it, and he’d wake up in a panic. When Yuuri asked him what was wrong, he would lie and make some other horror dream up.

 

Though Yuuri had not said much on the matter, Victor could tell that Yuuri was struggling. His smiles were more obviously forced now, and some days, he did not want to get out of bed or talk to him or even Mari. Victor talked to Dr. Lebedev about it and she told him that people in Yuuri’s condition often struggled with depression. She suggested that he try support groups, but Yuuri shot the idea down as soon as Victor mentioned it. Instead he would ask Yuri to come over, and sometimes he would bring Mila and Georgi, and sometimes, it was enough. But sometimes it wasn’t.

 

Victor wanted to do something to help, so he decided to try and take it a step further. As Yuuri’s transplant date came close, Victor worked endlessly to try and give his fiancé one perfect night.

 

* * *

 

“Yuuri,” Victor said, sounding awfully cheerful as Yuuri got dressed for the day. It was already quite late, but Yuuri found himself sleeping longer than he meant to quite often. It made him feel as if he was wasting his life away. “How would you feel about going out on a date with me?”

 

Yuuri stared at him. “A date? Today?”

 

“Yes,” Victor said happily. “We haven’t really been able to do anything like that with everything going on. And I thought it might be nice.”

 

Yuuri couldn’t imagine how anyone would want to go on a date with him. He didn’t even like to look at his reflection in the mirror anymore. But Victor looked so happy at the idea, and Yuuri liked to see Victor happy. Yuuri had been struggling a lot ever since he was last released from the hospital, and without meaning too, he often took his fear and anger out on Victor. He wasn’t proud of it, and Victor didn’t deserve it.

 

“Okay, I guess a date would be fun,” Yuuri said uncertainly.

 

Victor clapped excitedly. “We can get brunch!” he said as if it was the best thing in the world. “Finish getting ready, and then we can go!”

 

And then Victor was gone. Yuuri couldn’t help but feel a little confused, as this had come out of nowhere, but he decided to just go with it since Victor seemed so enthusiastic.

 

He put on the nicest clothes he could find, pulled a hat on his head, and figured that was the best he could do. Victor smiled widely when Yuuri found him in the living room, and Yuuri couldn’t help but to smile back.

 

“Have fun you two!” Mari called after them as they left, a small smile on her face. Yuuri blushed. The air was cold but then sun was actually poking through the clouds for once. Victor wrapped his arm around Yuuri’s waist, and already Yuuri felt a little bit more excited about going out with Victor. Victor had been right, after all. Ever since Yuuri got sick they had barely been able to go out and do anything fun together.

 

Yuuri still wasn’t able to eat as much as he used to, and he also had to be careful of what he ate, making brunch a lot harder for him than it should have been. But he didn’t even mind. He didn’t care about the food. It was nice to sit with Victor and be somewhere that wasn’t the hospital, or their apartment. It was nice to feel a tiny bit of normalcy. Yuuri could have happily sit there all day with Victor, but Victor seemed to have other plans.

 

“I still have one more place that I want to go, if you’re up for it,” Victor said, checking his phone.

 

Yuuri was feeling much happier than he had in weeks. “Okay, then. What did you have in mind?”

 

“Well, it’s a surprise,” Victor said with a wink. “But we do have to go to the surprise, so we should get going.”

 

“Okay,” Yuuri said, feeling curious. Victor paid for their meal, and then led Yuuri out of the restaurant and down the street to another, unfamiliar building.

 

“Where are we?” Yuuri asked as they walked through the door.

 

“This is actually a hotel,” Victor explained. “I have an acquaintance who works here, and he was able to help me out with something.”

 

“Okay,” Yuuri said slowly, at a complete loss for what Victor might be planning. He felt his cheeks grow warm as he thought of the possibility that Victor had booked them a room. It would be romantic for sure, but for some reason it didn’t really seem to fit.

 

“Here we are,” Victor said, stopping outside a door. He looked excited and almost nervous. “I needed a big enough space, and our apartment didn’t seem right. But this actually worked out perfectly.”

 

“Okay, okay Victor, enough suspense!” Yuuri said impatiently. “What’s going on?”

 

Victor smiled and simply opened the door.

 

Yuuri turned and was shocked by the sudden yell of “surprise!” Before him was a large room, set up with tables, decorations, and completely full of smiling faces. He was barely able to register what he was seeing when he was engulfed in the big, familiar, comforting hug.

 

“M-Mama?” he said in shock, but it was indeed his mother, and his father as well, and they were both there hugging him, and Mari joined, and he could barely believe it.

 

“What- why are you here??” he said in shock, and his mother pulled away, tears in her eyes and a smile on her face.

 

“Victor invited us to surprise you,” his mother said, her hand on his face. “He even bought us the plane tickets.”

 

Yuuri looked at Victor, who smiled at him, and Yuuri would have kissed him right there if he wasn’t tangled in his family. Over the top of his mother’s head he was surprised to see even more faces of people he loved. Yuuko and Minako, Phichit, Chris, Yuri, Otabek, Mila, Georgi, Yakov, and even Makkachin was there. Minako hugged him next, her words barely distinguishable over her tears. And then Yuuko, who barely had time to tell Yuuri that Takeshi was home with the triplets but sent their love, before Phichit was on him, hugging him tightly.

 

After a few minutes of finally being able to greet everyone, Yuuri turned to Victor. “You did this?”

 

Victor wrapped his arms around him. “I wanted to remind you that you have so many people who love and support you, Yuuri. You mean so much to all of us.”

 

Yuuri couldn’t stop his tears, but for once they were happy tears. He couldn’t even put his gratitude into words. So instead he kissed Victor, not caring that everyone was there watching. He loved Victor more and more every day. The last few months had been hell, and yet Victor had stayed by his side through every appointment, every sick night, every scare.

 

“I love you,” Yuuri told him when they finally broke off the kiss.

 

Victor smiled. “And I love you.”

 

Yuuri smiled more that day than he had in the last four months combined. He didn’t even care that he was tired, or that he looked like hell. He had his family and closest friends there, all together. He laughed and caught up with everyone, trying his best to make sure he thanked each and every one of them for being there for him. He kept Victor next to him the whole time, their hands intertwined. Hours went by that felt like minutes. They ate, danced to music, reminisced about the past. Before he knew it night had already fallen, and they had to call the party to a close.

 

“I just want to say thank you again, to each and every one of you,” Yuuri said, looking out at his friends and family, unable to stop more tears from coming. “You have no idea how much this has meant to me.” He looked up at Victor, and he didn’t need words to communicate. Victor pulled him close, and Yuuri leaned on him. He was really feeling the tiredness now, but didn’t want his guests to know. But Victor did, as always, and he was there, as he always was.

 

Victor had apparently gotten a deal with the hotel, so their friends and family would be staying for the next couple days. Yuuri said goodnight to everyone, and as he hugged his mother tightly, he felt an odd sense of peace. If things did take a turn for the worse and he didn’t survive the transplant, or some other complication came up, at least Yuuri could look back on this day and remember one last happy memory with the people that he loved most of all.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri looked exhausted by happy by the time they finally reached their apartment. Mari was still back at the hotel with their parents, so the apartment was empty. Victor could call his little surprise a success. He hadn’t seen Yuuri look so happy in a long time, and he couldn’t keep a smile off of his own face either. But it had been a long day, especially for Yuuri. He could barely keep himself steady on his feet as he pulled off his shoes. Catching Yuuri by surprise, Victor pulled him up in his arms bridal style.

 

“Victor!” Yuuri gasped, blushing.

 

“Don’t’ ‘Victor’ me,” Victor replied, carrying his fiancé into their room. Yuuri felt so light in his arms. He placed Yuuri on the bed. “I’ll find you some more comfortable clothes.”

 

“Victor,” Yuuri said, grabbing Victor’s shirt before he could walk away. “Thank you, for today. It was amazing.”

 

Victor smiled. “You’re welcome, love. It was my pleasure. I’m happy that it brought your smile back.”

 

“I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been lately,” Yuuri said, looking down. “I feel awful for the way I’ve treated you.”

 

“Don’t, Yuuri,” Victor said, sitting down on the bed. “With as much as you’ve had to deal with, no one could ever blame you for being angry, or sad. You’re allowed to be upset. Just don’t forget that I love you, and that we all love you. You mean so much to so many people, Yuuri.”

 

Yuuri smiled at him. “I never realized how lucky I truly am.” He laid back on the bed, sinking into the pillows.

 

“It’s us who are the lucky ones,” Victor told him, leaning over and kissing his forehead.

 

 


	12. Chapter 12

Visitors were almost constant in their apartment the next few days as Yuuri’s friends and family came to visit. Although it was rather tiring, Yuuri didn’t mind. It was nice to be able to see and talk to everyone, especially those people he hadn’t seen in such a long time. Unfortunately, though, they couldn’t stay forever. Yuuri was due to be admitted to the hospital in a few days, and everyone else had their own responsibilities to get back to. It was hardest to say goodbye to his parents, especially with the unspoken understanding that this may possibly be the last time that they were able to see one another. Yuuri made sure he told his parents how thankful he was for their never ending love and support they had always given him. Mari promised them that she would continue to take good care of Yuuri, and Victor promised them the same as well.

 

The apartment became uncomfortably quiet once everyone had gone home. Yuuri couldn’t help but to feel a little lonely, and a little sad. He felt like he hadn’t said everything that he needed to say. There were never enough words that he could say to properly express how he felt. He just hoped that his friends and family knew how much he loved them, and how much they meant to him.

 

On his last day home before going back to the hospital, Yuuri walked around the apartment, touching random things, remembering where they had come from and memories they had made. It was ridiculous how something as simple as a coffee mug could make him feel so much, simply thinking about the mornings he shared with Victor. So many little moments had gone by, and Yuuri had never thought much of them. But now, they were treasures. He treasured every moment he had spent in this apartment with the man that he loved.

 

“Yuuri, what are you doing?” Mari asked him, leaning against the doorway to the kitchen. Victor had run to the store to buy some last minute things before Yuuri had to leave tomorrow, so it was just the two of them in the apartment.

 

“Nothing,” he said, pulling his hand away from the empty coffee mug.

 

“It looks to me like you’re saying goodbye,” his sister said softly.

 

“I-well, I guess I kind of am,” he sighed.

 

“You’re going to be okay, Yuuri,” she said firmly. “I don’t like to see you thinking this way.”

 

Yuuri shook his head. “It’s different for you, Mari. You aren’t sick. You’re healthy, and you’re my sister. You want to support me and want me to be okay. And I want that too. Believe me, Mari, I want nothing more than for everything to be okay. But it might not. It’s not like it’s a secret. It’s just a fact. There’s a lot that can go wrong, and I’ve come to terms with it.”

 

“But Yuuri-“

 

“Please, Mari,” he said, horrified to see her eyes watering. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to upset you. I just…I just need to say goodbye. Just in case. It makes me feel better.”

She shook her head, wiping her eyes. “I mean, I guess I get it. And I don’t want you to feel regret, or whatever. I’m just...I’m hoping you won’t have to.”

 

He smiled sadly at her. “I’m hoping I won’t have to either. But…since we’re here…I just want to say thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done. You’ve been an amazing support for me, and for Victor, and our parents as well. And you’re giving me a chance at life again. I don’t even think I could ever thank you enough for everything.”

 

“Oh, stupid,” she barked, pulling him into a hug, the tears streaming down her face. “I do it for you, you idiot. I love you. I would do anything for you.”

 

He smiled, hugging her tightly. “I hope I can repay you one day.”

 

“You can repay me by living, okay,” she said sternly, pulling away to look at him. “If you live, then we’re even. Okay?”

 

He laughed. “Sounds like a deal.”

 

* * *

 

When Victor returned home, Mari and Yuuri were on the couch, watching TV. Yuuri smiled at him, and as always, it made his heart flutter.

 

“Good, you’re home,” Mari said, standing up. “I can finally make you fools something to eat.” She grabbed the grocery bag from his hand, her smile warm. Victor had grown quite attached to Mari. He was going to miss her when she went back to Japan.

 

As Mari went to work in the kitchen, Victor took her spot on the couch, draping his arm over Yuuri’s shoulders. Victor felt a pang at the thought of this being their last night at home. He couldn’t help but wonder if this would be the last time he would be able to sit with Yuuri on the couch, such a simple pleasure that he had taken advantage of before.

 

“What’s wrong?” Yuuri asked him with a frown.

 

Everything was wrong. Victor shouldn’t have to be sitting there wondering if he’d ever be able to hold his fiancé again. “Nothing’s wrong, love. I was just thinking.”

 

Yuuri snuggled into him. “Do you want to talk about it?”

 

“No, it’s okay,” Victor said, though it was partly a lie. They lay there quietly for a few moments, Yuuri starting to drift off to sleep. Victor felt a sudden panic, almost as if this was his last chance to tell Yuuri how he felt.

 

“Yuuri!” he said, startling Yuuri awake.

 

“Hm?” Yuuri said, rubbing his eyes.

 

“I’m sorry,” Victor said, feeling guilty. “I just….” His kissed Yuuri’s forehead, giving himself a second to put his feelings into words. “Before you came here, before I met you, my life was different. My career was my everything. It was the only thing I had, aside from Makkachin. I was alone. I had started to feel as if my life would never be anything more than that. And I thought that was fine, or at least that’s what I told myself. But then I met you, Yuuri. I met you and my life changed in the most beautiful way. I know you don’t even realize it, but wherever you go, you bring such warmth. I never had felt love the way that I love you, Yuuri. You always go on about how lucky you are and how great I’ve been, but you don’t even realize how much you saved me. You’ve made me into a better person, Yuuri. I can never thank you for what you have given me. You’ve given me a life and a love that I never even knew existed.”

 

Yuuri was so quiet that Victor wondered if he had fallen asleep again. “Thank you,” Yuuri finally replied. “Thank you for telling me this. I know it sound ridiculous, but it makes me feel a little better to know that I’ve helped you the same way you’ve helped me. I love you, Victor. I promise you that I am going to fight with all the strength I have in me.”

 

Victor tried to fight the burning feeling in his throat. “Please, Yuuri. Please fight. I don’t want this to end now.”

 

They were interrupted by a knock at the door, making them both jump. Victor quickly wiped his eyes and opened the door just enough to see who it was.

 

“Yuri,” he said, opening the door more. “I didn’t realize you were coming.”

 

“I wanted to see Katsudon,” Yuri said, eyeing him suspiciously. “What’s wrong with you? Is he okay?”

 

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” Victor said quickly, moving out of the way. “Come in.”

 

Yuuri sat up on the couch. “Hi, Yuri!” he said, sounding happy yet tired.

 

“Katsudon!” Yuri said brightly, flopping down on the couch. “How are you? Ready to kick this cancer’s ass?”

 

Yuuri chuckled. “I’ve never been more ready.”

 

“Good,” Yuri said, looking satisfied. “I’m already planning the best program to beat you next year.”

 

Victor smiled. He felt a little bit better. He could have told Yuuri how much he meant to him for hours, but at least now Yuuri knew. And he knew that Yuuri wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

 

* * *

 

It was dark when the alarm on Victor’s phone went off. Yuuri groaned, wanting nothing more than to lay in bed for a few more hours. And then he remembered that today was the day. He felt nervous, and was suddenly wide awake.

 

“You up?” he heard Victor mumble.

 

“M-hm,” Yuuri replied, trying to calm his nerves.

 

They were silent as they moved around the room and got ready. They could hear Mari up and moving as well. Yuuri told himself that this wasn’t it. Things weren’t over yet. He reminded himself of it over and over. He could do this. This would work.

 

There was a restless silence as they made their way to the hospital, the streets still quiet in the early morning hours. Mari hugged him for about five minutes before they had to separate, as she went to get ready to donate and Yuuri got ready to get admitted to the hospital. He worried about her, even though he knew the procedure was safe.

 

“Victor,” he said, turning to his fiancé, who was still half asleep. “Will you keep an eye on her today? I won’t be doing very much today, anyway. I just want to know that she’s okay.”

 

Victor smiled at him. “Sure, love, if you’re okay. You can text me if you need me.”

 

Yuuri smiled appreciatively. He felt slightly lonely once Victor was gone, though. The day was full of paperwork, tests, and getting a catheter inserted in his chest. He was starting to feel a bit more nervous at this point, as everything was becoming more real. He was almost thankful that they needed to sedate him for the procedure, for it gave him a small break. By the time he woke up after getting the catheter, Victor was there, rubbing the top of Yuuri’s hand.

 

“Hey,” Victor said with a smile. “How are you feeling?”

 

Yuuri blinked a couple times, feeling drowsy. “I’m okay. How’s Mari?”

 

“She’s good,” Victor said, and Yuuri felt relieved. “Everything went really well, and she’ll be released in a couple hours. She’s worried about you.”

 

Yuuri smiled. He drifted in and out of sleep for a few more minutes. Once he was more awake, they moved him into the room that would be his for the next few weeks. The room was isolated and had strict rules about who could come in, how many people could be there, and what they needed to do to even get in the room. The nurses explained this was all to keep him safe from getting sick. Victor listened carefully, and Yuuri almost giggled at his determination.

 

His next, and hopefully last round of chemotherapy would start tomorrow, and once it was finished, the transplant would take place. Yuuri tried to not be too nervous as the staff explained to him what he would be experiencing and what complications and warning signs he needed to be aware of. Soon after everything was settled and the doctor left, Mari was there, and Yuuri had never been so happy to see her.

 

“I’m fine,” she assured him, kissing his cheek. “I’m a little sore but it’s nothing I can’t handle. I have to give you kudos, though, for having to deal with this stuff all the time. It’s not very fun.”

 

“Hopefully this will be the last of it,” Yuuri said, and he meant it. The only thing that helped calm him was the fact that this could be it. If this worked, this could be his last hospital stay. His last chemo. He would actually be able to recover. He could get his life back, and put this hellish nightmare behind him.

 

* * *

 

 

Yuuri’s first couple weeks in the hospital were extremely hard for everyone. Victor spent almost every minute of the day at Yuuri’s side, watching as Yuuri went through his strongest treatments yet. Yuuri was very sick. The doctors kept telling him that things got worse before they got better, but Victor didn’t take much comfort from it. He hated seeing Yuuri that way. By the time the chemo was finished and they were ready to go through with the transplant, Victor was worried. He understood now why the procedure was considered risky. Yuuri was so weak that Victor was afraid to fall asleep, afraid that even if he closed his eyes for a moment, something would happen. He did his best to comfort Yuuri, who constantly needed Victor by his side. He and Mari would take turns running home when needed, but Victor would always rush, because Yuuri always looked so scared every time Victor left his side.

 

The doctors and nurses were hovering almost constantly after the transplant, checking Yuuri’s charts and machines and taking his blood. Dr. Lebedev was around often, and she did her best to explain to Victor and Mari what was happening and what they were doing. She explained that it would take a little time to know for sure if the transplant was a success. All they could do now was wait, and hope for the best.

 

“I just want to see him!” Yuri yelled at Victor angrily in the lobby of the hospital one afternoon, after Victor had told him that it was better if Yuri wait.

 

“Yuuri’s really sick,” Victor tried to explain, but Yuri cut him off.

 

“You think I don’t know that?” Yuri huffed. “What’s happening to him that I can’t see him?”

 

Victor sighed, rubbing his temples. He had barely slept or eaten in days. “I know you’re worried. And I promise that you can see him when he’s feeling a little better. But…you don’t want to see him right now, Yuri. And the doctors have even said it’s better if he doesn’t have many visitors, especially with how compromised he is.”

 

“He’s…he’s going to be okay, right?” Yuri asked, his anger dissipating. “He’s not going to die, right?”

 

Victor stared at Yuri, who looked years younger all of a sudden, like a scared child. Somewhere along the lines since Yuuri had been admitted, Victor had shut his emotions off. He had too. He had to be strong for Yuuri, and for Mari. He had to keep himself together when the doctors and nurses were talking to him and explaining things to him. He had to keep his head on straight so he could keep functioning. But it was a lot. It was too much. Yuuri was so sick, and Victor was so tired.

 

“I don’t know, Yuri,” Victor admitted, feeling his composure crumble, and suddenly he was in tears, his knees giving out as the weight of what had been happening came crashing down on him. Victor was tired of watching the man he loved suffer. He was tired of being so scared that any second would be his last second with Yuuri. He was tired of cancer, and hospitals. He wanted his Yuuri back, and their boring happy life.

 

“Victor,” Yuri said uncertainly, kneeling down and putting his hand on Victor’s shoulder. “I’m sorry, I didn’t- I wasn’t thinking. I’m sorry, okay? Please don’t do this. Yuuri will be okay. Goddammit, where the fuck is Mari? She’s better at this than me.”

 

Victor flung his arms around Yuri and hugged him. Yuri tensed for a moment, but then relaxed, patting Victor’s shoulder awkwardly. Victor didn’t care that he was a mess. He needed someone to tell him things would be okay, even if it was Yuri. He just needed a moment to allow himself to let go.

 

It wasn’t easy, watching the person he loved more than anything fight such a terrible disease.

 

If Yuuri did make it through, Victor would make sure to hold Yuuri close and never let him go again.


	13. Chapter 13

Yuuri’s transplant was successful.

 

It wasn’t easy, or quick, but it was successful. Dr. Lebedev came to Yuuri’s room one day with the biggest smile on her face, and Victor knew before she even said anything that it was true. Of course it was a slow healing progress, and Yuuri would be at risk for complications for months and months following the transplant, but still, it was the best news that they could have hoped for. Victor hugged Yuuri and Mari, jumping up and down with Mari as Yuuri laughed.

 

Yuuri was released from the hospital after a month of steadily improving. Dr. Lebedev had let them know that it was a slow recovery and Yuuri would be feeling unwell for several weeks, and possibly months after returning home. They had to be careful about where they went and what they did, but Victor didn’t care, because Yuuri was alive and on the road to recovery.

 

“I’ve never been so happy,” Yuuri said as they walked up to the door of their apartment, Victor’s arm around him for support.

 

“We aren’t even through the door yet!” Mari said from behind them.

 

“You’re home, Yuuri,” Victor said, pulling Yuuri’s face close to his and softly kissing his lips. Yuuri smiled, his eyes shining.

 

“You guys,” Mari said, rolling her eyes as she walked past them and unlocked the door.

 

“Makkachin!” Yuuri said brightly, bending down to put his arms around the dog.

 

“Be careful!” Mari said at once. “Remember what the doctor said…” But her voice trailed as Yuuri laughed, Makkachin licking his face. Mari shook her head but smiled.

 

Later that night, Victor and Yuuri crawled into their bed, Victor finally feeling comfortable again now that Yuuri was back at his side. He had come so close to losing Yuuri too many times. The past few months had felt like years. He pulled Yuuri close, and was startled to see Yuuri crying.

 

“What’s wrong?” Victor asked, panic rising in him that something bad was going to happen, that Yuuri was sick or in pain. The fear would stay with him for months.

 

Yuuri shook his head. “Nothing. That’s the thing. I’m home, and you’re here, and we’re together. I think…I honestly had thought I was never going to come home again, Victor. Especially while I was laying in the hospital bed. I thought that I was dying, that this was it. That’s why I panicked every time you weren’t there. I was afraid I was dying and I wouldn’t get to say goodbye to you. But…but I didn’t die. I didn’t die.”

 

“You didn’t die,” Victor repeated, wiping Yuuri’s tears. “I told you all along you were strong, Yuuri. You were so strong, and so brave.”

 

“I couldn’t have done it if you hadn’t been there for me,” Yuuri whispered.

 

“I’ll always be here for you, my love,” Victor replied. “I want to spend the rest of my life with you by my side, Yuuri. No matter what happens. I love you.”

 

Yuuri smiled weakly. “I love you, Victor. And nothing would make me happier than to spend every day of the rest of my life with you.”

 

* * *

 

 

Slowly, but surely, Yuuri worked hard and getting back to his life. The first few weeks he was home were difficult. He often tried to push himself too hard, wanting nothing more than to get stronger, and get better. He had a couple setbacks, easily getting sick when not taking proper care of himself. But he was determined to be the person he used to be. He wanted to be the one people could depend on again. He wanted to be able to support the people he loved. He wanted to be able to skate again.

 

At first he could barely walk around the block, but slowly, it got easier. He got stronger. Every time he went in for a check-up appointment be would beg Dr. Lebedev to tell him he could skate again. For a while she resisted, but finally, after what felt like an eternity, she told him it was okay to start training again, as long as he was careful and didn’t overdo it.

 

He was so happy he could have kissed her. That night he dragged Victor to the rink, and his old rink mates were there to greet him. Victor reminded him that just because he was cleared didn’t mean that he was anywhere near ready, but Yuuri didn’t care. He had already won half the battle.

 

Yuuri trained the hardest he had ever trained in his life. And it was difficult. Even after months he was still much weaker than he had been before he had gotten sick. But he was also more determined than he had ever been in his entire life. And he had the support of his rink mates, especially Yuri, and the best coach that he could have asked for. ‘Get Yuuri ready for the Grand Prix’ became the number one objective at the rink, and everyone worked with him to help him prepare, sometimes even ignoring their own training.

 

Victor had been hesitant in the beginning. He told Yuuri flat out that they would stop if he got hurt or sick at all. But by the time the Grand Prix came around, Victor was as determined as Yuuri to see him succeed.

 

“You’ve worked so hard,” Victor told him the night before their first competition. “I can barely believe it myself that you’ve made it this far. I am amazed by you each and every day, my love.”

 

Yuuri smiled. He was more ready than he had ever been. He ran his fingers through his hair, which had finally started to grow back and was almost as long as it had been before he was sick. He knew that he wasn’t 100% back to where he used to be. He wasn’t even sure if he would be good enough to advance in the competition. His practices weren’t perfect, and he did not have the same energy and stamina that he used to. But he didn’t care. He had worked his ass of and he had made it to the Grand Prix again. He had looked death in the eye and walked away. No matter what happened, he would not be let down. He had worked too hard.

 

* * *

 

The lights were bright, and people were cheering. Yuuri gasped for breath as he stared up at the ceiling, coming to the realization that he had done it. He had made his way to the Grand Prix Finals, and he had made it through his short program, and now his free skate, and he had actually pulled it off. He had done it. He didn’t even care if it was good enough to win the gold or not. He had done it.

 

His eyes filled with tears and his knees gave out. He leaned over the ice, completely exhausted. He wasn’t even sure if he could stand. He had pushed himself past his limits. But it didn’t matter. He was alive, after all. He was alive and he was living the life he had dreamed of.

 

“Yuuri!” Yuuri looked up, almost forgetting where he was and what was happening. Yurio was there, and he was smiling, his face soft for once. “Come on, Katsudon. You gotta get up. Victor’s waiting for you and he might die if you don’t get up and get over there.”

 

Yuuri chuckled and let Yuri help him to his feet. He had to lean on the younger skater so that he did not fall again, but he held up his fist in victory to let everyone know he was okay. The crowd screamed even louder. And then Yuuri saw Victor, who was in tears, waiting for Yuuri at the edge of the ice. Yuuri smiled, and Victor shook his head and held his arms out. Yuuri let go of Yuri once they were close enough and practically jumped into Victor’s arms.

 

“You idiot, that was beautiful,” Victor said, hugging him through his tears. “I don’t know whether to be angry at you for pushing yourself like that or proud because that was completely amazing.”

 

“I’ll go with proud,” Yuuri said, smiling tiredly, and Victor kissed him, and Yuuri couldn’t remember a time where he had been more thankful to be alive.

 

* * *

 

“How does it feel to get your first gold Grand Prix medal?” Victor asked him later that night as they walked back to their hotel.

 

“It feels pretty damn good,” Yuuri said, holding it up and staring at the gold medal, still in awe that he had actually won. The whole world had been in tears over his performance, and he had received so many messages from his family, his friends, and his fans tell him how proud they were.

 

“So Yuuri,” Victor said, stopping in the middle of the sidewalk. “I’m not sure if you remember or not, but once upon a time, I made a deal with you.”

 

Yuuri’s heart beat quickly. “A deal….”

 

“…that if you won the gold medal at the Grand Prix, that I would marry you,” Victor finished, a small smile on his lips.

 

“I remember,” Yuuri replied, feeling breathless.

 

“Well,” Victor replied, and he took Yuuri’s hand in his, pulling off the gold band that he had been wearing for two years already, “to be honest with you Yuuri, I don’t need a gold medal. I’ve told you time and time again that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I’ve known that since the first time you put this ring on. But now, I want to make it official.” He placed the ring back on Yuuri’s finger. “There’s nothing I want more than to be your husband, Yuuri. That is, if you’ll have me. I want to marry you, Yuuri Katsuki.”

 

Yuuri could barely breathe he was so happy. “Of course I want to marry you,” he replied, and Victor smiled in relief, as if he didn’t already know that Yuuri loved him more than anything in the world. Yuuri kissed him, wrapping his arms around Victor neck, never wanting to ever let go.

 

Yuuri Katsuki’s life had never been easy. And then, he was diagnosed with leukemia, and given a prognosis that made it more likely that he would die than live. And then he almost died. But somehow, he survived, against the odds, despite the complications. He had survived, and he had won the gold at the Grand Prix, and to top it all off, he agreed to marry the best man and person he had ever met in his entire life.

 

His life was not easy, but it was beautiful. And he was grateful for every single moment of it.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I want to say a big THANK YOU to everyone who has read, commented, left kudos, and bookmarked this story. It means so much to me to see people supporting and enjoying something I've put so much work into. It seriously makes my day every time I see I have a new comment! <3 
> 
> When I first started writing this, I had no idea where I was going or what I wanted to do. I almost gave up on it completely, because I felt like no one liked it, haha. But I didn't give up, and I'm glad I didn't. I honestly loved writing this pic so much, I even cried when I finished the last chapter xD I often get very emotionally involved in my writing, and this story was no different. 
> 
> I did my best to stay as true to the medical side of the story as I could, minus some hiccups at the start. I often feel like if I don't give a truthful description of what I'm writing about, that it's an insult to people who really have to go through these situations. But of course I only have google to guide me, but I hope I did an okay job with the medical stuff. 
> 
> I've already started (a very sad) one-shot that I'll probably be posting within the next few days, but I haven't any other immediate plans to write. But I really love writing YOI so I'm sure I'll be posting another story soon. 
> 
> Again, thank you so, so much! 
> 
> Katy


	14. Alternate Ending

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone! 
> 
> I had a couple people request that I write an ending to this story where Yuuri died rather than surviving. 
> 
> I had gone back and forth on the idea, as I had with the original ending. 
> 
> I still count the original ending as the 'true' ending. IF YOU ARE HAPPY WITH THAT ENDING, then don't read this XD 
> 
> However, if you are in the mood for some feels, here is my gift to you. 
> 
> I've been in a weirdly emotional mood lately. If often happens to me in the spring, for that's when I once lost someone close to me. So I decided to go ahead and write this. 
> 
> I was going to make it longer, but honestly, it made me too sad XD 
> 
> So here you go: the alternate ending. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy <3 
> 
> <3 Katy

Victor listened to the steady beat of Yuuri’s heart monitor, the sound soothing to him. Yuuri was asleep, and Mari was in the cafeteria, leaving Victor alone. Yuuri looked so small in the hospital bed, tubes and machines all around him. It was hard to believe that this Yuuri was the same Yuuri Katsuki that Victor fell in love with two years ago. He looked so different. He looked so sick, and Victor hated it. He hated cancer. He hated what it had done to his Yuuri. It wasn’t right. It wasn’t fair.

 

Yuuri hadn’t been doing very well. He’d been sick even before the transplant, and although the doctors and nurses had still been optimistic, Victor was worried. The moments when Yuuri was awake he could barely talk, let alone eat, or get up. He had developed another infection, and they were giving him medicine to fight it. But Victor was afraid. It was a lot. Yuuri was already so tired. How much could his body handle? He hated the thought of him suffering.

 

Everything was just so fucked up.

 

“Don’t cry,” Yuuri’s hoarse voice startled Victor, who hadn’t even realized that he had indeed starting crying. Yuuri was looking at him, tired but worried.

 

“I’m sorry, love,” Victor said, leaning in to kiss his dry lips. “I’m okay, I promise. How are you feeling?”

 

Yuuri closed his eyes for a moment. “Victor….”

 

“What is it, love?” Victor said, taking his hand.

 

Yuuri looked at him again. The faintest of smiles appeared on his lips. “You are beautiful.”

 

Victor was surprised. “Not as beautiful as you.”

 

“Victor, I love you so much,” Yuuri said, his eyelids drooping. “Please, remember that.”

 

Victor’s throat burned as he fought back more tears. “Of course. I love you just as much. And I could never forget that.”

 

“And….” Yuuri started to say, but he was asleep again. Victor wanted to say, “And what?” but he knew it was no good.

 

He wished that Yuuri had finished his sentence. He would always be haunted by the unspoken words.

 

* * *

 

 

Dr. Lebedev took Victor and Mari into the hall that evening, and Victor knew it was bad. Dr. Lebedev was too nice of a person and she couldn’t hide the sadness from her face.

 

“It looks like the transplant isn’t taking,” she told them, and her words hit Victor like a truck. “His body is rejecting it. On top of the infection and his already weakened body, it….” She sighed. “It’s not looking very good for Yuuri. I think that’s it’s best if you…prepare yourselves.”

 

_Prepare yourselves._

_Prepare for Yuuri’s death._

 

“Y-you mean-?” Mari’s voice came out a choked sob, and it startled Victor. Mari was so good at holding it together all the time.

 

“I’m so sorry,” Dr. Lebedev, and she looked it. “I know that we talked about this possibility, but I was really hoping that it wouldn’t come to this. Yuuri’s fought so hard, and you both have been amazing support systems for him.”

 

“H-how long?” Mari managed to ask.

 

Dr. Lebedev hesitated. “There’s no easy answer, unfortunately. It could be minutes, hours, days, weeks. It all just depends on Yuuri.”

 

Dr. Lebedev looked at Victor, who hadn’t said a word this entire time. “All you can do now is be there for him, and let him know that you are there. It’s possible that he may wake up again, and it’s possible that he may not. But that doesn’t mean that he can’t hear you or that he doesn’t know you are there.”

 

He may not wake up.

 

Had their words they spoke earlier that day been their last?

 

“I’m going to go and give you guys some time, but I won’t be far. Have a nurse page me if you need me,” Dr. Lebedev said, putting her hand on Victor’s shoulder.

 

“Thank you,” he managed to say, and she nodded and left. Mari threw her arms around him, and he hugged her back, feeling dazed. Was this really happening? Could this really be happening?

 

“I n-need to call my parents,” Mari said, pulling out her phone. “I need to try to get them here.”

 

Victor nodded. Yes. People needed to know. People needed to say goodbye.

 

Yuuri was dying?

 

He had been sick for so long, and he had come so close to death before and he had pulled through.

 

He could pull through again, right?

 

Right?

 

Mari was speaking in Japanese, but Victor could hear her voice break. Victor pulled out his own phone. Who did he call? Yuuri was the first person he told things too.

 

Oh god, Yuuri was his everything. His best friend. His family. The love of his life.

 

“Hello?” Yuri’s voice sounded apprehensive on the other end, not answering with his usual snarky comments.

 

“Yuri,” Victor said, his voice high pitched.

 

“What’s wrong?” Yuri asked him. “Victor?”

 

“He’s….” He couldn’t say it. He couldn’t say the words out loud. “The doctor just came, and said….”

 

“Said what, Victor?” Yuri was practically yelling.

 

Yuuri couldn’t die. Victor couldn’t handle it. Yuuri’s things were still in his apartment- their apartment. His life wasn’t just his own anymore. He had opened up and let Yuuri in. And it hadn’t been easy.

 

“Yuri he’s- he’s not-“ Victor could feel his heart shattering into a million tiny pieces. “He’s-oh god-“

 

“Fuck,” Yuri replied, knowing without Victor having to say it. “I’m coming right now.” And he hung up.

 

* * *

 

 

He hated fucking hospitals.

 

He hated them.

 

He hated Yuuri being in the hospital.

 

He hated death.

 

He wanted nothing more than to run away and hide, but he couldn’t. Victor was going to lose it, and Yuri wanted to be able to say goodbye.

 

“Goddammit Katsudon,” Yuri cursed as he made his way up to Yuuri’s room, standing alone in the too-slow elevator. He was terrified. Terrified to see Victor and Mari. Terrified to see Yuuri. But he was going. Because it was Yuuri, and Victor.

 

Victor was waiting for him outside Yuuri’s room. He looked so fucking lost, his eyes wide and confused. He ran to Yuri when he saw him, and nearly knocking him over. Yuri didn’t fight him. He wanted to help in whatever way he could, even if it meant he had to deal with Victor crushing him.

 

“Thank you for coming,” Victor choked out. “I-I don’t- I don’t know what to do.”

 

“Is he…awake?” Yuri asked.

 

Victor finally let go of him and shook his head. “Not right now. The-the doctor said he m-might not wake up again.”

 

Oh, fuck.

 

Fuck.

 

Yuri felt nauseous.

 

“I talked to him for a second earlier today,” Victor continued, his shoulders slumping. “He told me I was beautiful, and that he loved me. Almost like he knew.”

 

Fuck fuck fuck DON’T CRY

 

“And the doctors are sure?” Yuri asked, not wanting it to be true. Victor just shrugged.

 

“They seem like it. I was kind of expecting it, in a way. I could tell he wasn’t doing well, but I was hoping…hoping he would get better.”

 

“Can…can I go see him?” Yuri asked, feeling nervous.

 

Victor studied him, and then sighed. “Yes, you can. I won’t stop you. But just…just be ready.”

 

As if he could ever be ready.

 

He had to wash his hands and wear a gown and mask to even get into the room. Mari was in there, sitting next to Yuuri’s bed, holding his hand. She looked up at him as he entered, her usual strong composure complete gone. And Yuri couldn’t blame her.

 

Yuuri looked bad. Even worse than the last time he was in the hospital, and Yuri hadn’t thought that it could get worse. No wonder Victor hadn’t wanted him to come visit. He didn’t even look like Yuuri anymore.

 

He couldn’t stop the tears.

 

“Yurio,” Mari said softly, standing up and hugging him. Yuri actually hugged her back, needing the comfort as much as she did.

 

“Thank you for coming,” Mari said. “You mean a lot to my brother. He loves you.”

 

“I-“ Fuck, the tears were really coming. “I do-t-too. I mean….”

 

Mari let go and smiled at him. “I know you do.”

 

She took his hand and led him over to Yuuri’s bedside. Yuri didn’t know what he was supposed to do or say. He wanted to take Yuuri’s hand, but he wasn’t sure. Fuck, he wasn’t ready. Victor had told him to be ready and he wasn’t. How was he supposed to do this?

 

“Fuck, Katsudon, why?” he said, and then covered his mouth when he realized he said it out loud, but Mari didn’t seem to mind.

 

“Cancer’s a fucking bitch,” she replied tiredly.

 

Wasn’t that the truth.

 

Awkwardly, nervously, Yuri reached out and touched Yuuri’s hand. It seemed cold, and Yuri hated the feeling. What was he supposed to say? It wasn’t like he and Yuuri had ever been very affectionate towards one another, but that didn’t mean that he didn’t care for him. He actually cared for him a lot. And the poor guy had been through so much shit. Yuuri was too kind to suffer like this.

 

“Thank you,” he said, his fingers trembling. “Thank you for being my friend.”

 

Yuuri didn’t move or respond, but Yuri hoped that he heard him. He hoped that he knew.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor listened to the beat of Yuuri’s heart monitor.

 

Every beep.

 

The time was close, and Victor knew it.

 

Yuuri’s parents were currently on a plane there.

 

Yuri was sitting out in the hall.

 

Mari sat on Yuuri’s opposite side, holding his hand to her lips as the tears silently fell down her cheeks.

 

Victor remembered every smile, every laugh. Sitting with Yuuri on the couch, skating alongside him in practice, the feeling on his body next to him in bed. Every moment they shared, good, bad, it was all precious. All important. All the reasons that Victor loved Yuuri. There were too many.

 

_You are beautiful. I love you so much._

Victor loved Yuuri more than anything.

 

He didn’t want Yuuri to leave him.

 

But he also didn’t want Yuuri to suffer.

 

He had been watching it for months.

 

And no one deserved that.

 

Especially not someone as beautiful and kind and Yuuri Katsuki.

 

The heart monitor blared, the sound engulfing.

 

Victor felt his heart rip in half. The world came to a stop. The realization hit him.

 

He held Yuuri’s hand in his, but Yuuri was gone.

 

* * *

 

 

Victor stared out at the waves, the sound soothing to him. Hasetsu was a place he both loved and hated. He loved and hated it for the same reason: because of Yuuri.

 

It was a beautiful, warm, loving place.

 

But a little less so without Yuuri in it.

 

Everything reminded him of Yuuri, no matter where he went. Everything was a constant reminder that Yuuri was gone and Victor was alone.

 

He hadn’t realized how much of his life belonged to Yuuri until Yuuri was no longer there. He could barely function anymore. Nothing was right. He was empty, as if he had died along with Yuuri. He had been trying his best, especially because he knew that was what Yuuri wanted. Yuuri wanted him to be okay. But it was hard. Everything was hard. Going to bed without him was hard. Dreaming of him was hard. Waking up and realizing that Yuuri was still gone was hard.

 

“Victor!” Yuri was there, panting. “I’ve been looking all over for you! Scared the shit out of me!”

 

Victor looked at him for a moment, and then looked back at the ocean. “I’m sorry. I just….”

 

Yuri sighed and sat down next to him. “Are you going to go? Or are you going to sit here all day?”

 

“I’ll go,” Victor replied, though he would rather not have to think about going to Yuuri’s funeral. “I’m…trying.”

 

Yuri didn’t say anything. He looked out at the waves as well. Victor wondered how Yuri was handling everything. He had been wearing a brave face and held himself together better than Victor could have ever expected. But he suspected it was all for his sake, because he wasn’t able to wear a brave face. And Victor knew that Yuri was struggling. He wouldn’t forget the look on Yuri’s face when he told him Yuuri was gone. It was as if Yuri had been holding on to any hope he could, and Victor snatched it away from him.

 

“What are we going to do…after?” Yuri asked.

 

Victor sighed. “I don’t know, Yuri. I can’t even think five minutes into the future, right now. I know that we’ll have to go home, but…I don’t know if I can.”

 

Yuri kept his eyes on the water. “Maybe we can stay here, for a little bit. I think his family might appreciate it.”

 

“Hm.” Victor wasn’t sure what would be harder, staying with Yuuri’s family, or going back to his empty apartment. “We should go to the rink, tonight. Convince the others to go too.”

 

Somehow, Yuri smiled. “Yuuri’s rink.” Victor looked at him. He thought back to when he first came to Hasetsu, and got to know Yuuri. He remembered watching him work so hard, to try and beat Yurio at the skate-off. He was so determined.

 

The thought made Victor smile.

 

He hadn’t smiled in days.

 

Perhaps the day would come when he would always smile when he thought of Yuuri, rather than feel the pain he was feeling now.

 

He looked at the gold ring on his finger.

 

That’s what Yuuri had wanted, after all.


End file.
